You know, we're all products of our own habits and environment.
At the same time, we have a bit of conditioning that was passed down to us from the people who raised us.
While this isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can work against you, especially when it comes to saving your marriage.
Why you might ask? What happens normally, is that you have become set in your ways.
You like things the way they are and you've molded your life in such a way that it suits you.
Nothing wrong with that right? Well, that's still true.
But, it limits our ability to change or accept change.
It puts you in a comfort zone and anything that has to do with stepping out of that comfort zone is sometimes pretty scary.
It puts you on the defense, because you have no idea what that change will bring or what the ramifications of that change will be.
But, getting out of your old ways and opening yourself up to change is what it will take to save a struggling marriage.
You can't let the fear of that change keep you from doing the right thing, even if you don't see it yet.
Maybe you're the one who's been controlling the bulk of the decisions for example, but it has built up into a bigger problem now that your spouse is tired of not having any say so.
You're probably thinking that you've done a pretty good job, and don't want to cause any waves by releasing some power over decision making to your spouse for fear of him/her messing things up or ruining the system you have in place.
Perfectly natural.
But, if it has become an issue and it threatens the happiness in your marriage to continue on this way, then maybe you should really consider changing it up.
Your spouse is going to make a few mistakes, and you probably know that.
But, he/she will get better.
Give it a chance.
Embrace the change, take on the fear of not being in control and let your spouse feel like they play a balanced part in what goes on.
A lot of times, your spouse will take this new found responsibility head on at first, but will see or realize that you do a better job or it's too much stress on them to worry about it, and relinquish that power back to you.
But, at least they will have had the chance to experience that change and your openness and respect for his/her feelings.
If it's been a problem or one of your main problems, now it will go away.
Change is scary for anyone, as it's unpredictable.
But, it may be just what you need to keep your marriage happy and prevent it from falling apart.
There are many other things you can do to work on a struggling marriage, steps you can take for different problems etc...
But, being open to change is a great start.