So you're about to make that all important first phone call after the two of you have broken up.
If your intent is to get your ex girlfriend back, know that this phone call can also backfire in a big way.
As with everything else, for every correct way of doing something there are many more ways of doing it badly.
Your success will depend on your current state of mind and whether the call was impulsive or carefully thought through.
Here are five tips to keep in mind when you're contacting her for the first time after the breakup: 1.
) In our culture, men are expected to be strong and confident.
They're the doers, they're expected to go out into the world and make it their own.
Women expect and are attracted by this.
Now, a lot has been harped over sensitivity in men.
Sensitivity can make a man more appealing but only if he already possesses strength and self-assurance.
However, clingy behavior, crying, and neediness will make you appear wimpy.
These expressions of desperation and panic shouldn't be confused with sensitivity.
It will diminish your worth to her as a man.
  2.
) When talking to her, always keep your objective in mind: saving your relationship.
That means that making yourself feel better or superior is not the objective.
You aren't attempting to prove who was wrong nor are you trying to save face.
Trying to assign blame has no place in reconciliation.
Placing blame only serves the purpose of exonerating yourself.
It does nothing for her feelings or for the relationship, even if it makes you feel better.
Place yourself on the receiving end of those words if it's not clear how your she will react.
The key is to accept responsibility for your transgressions without expecting her to do the same.
3.
) Don't be insincere.
Only say things that you really mean.
Don't express emotions that you don't truly feel.
Saying you're "sorry...
but" means you aren't sorry.
There's no faster way to stop your reconciliation dead in it's tracks than saying you're not sorry for what you did.
4.
) Don't expect or demand complete forgiveness.
All that you can do is ask for it.
You can give forgiveness but you shouldn't expect it in return.
The spirit of forgiveness is not about bartering.
You aren't trading goods and services.
5.
) Be sure that you're in a level headed frame of mind when contacting her for the first time.
Therefore you should not be angry, depressed, or drunk.
Use your head, plan what to say, and call her.