A Straight Diversity Professional Comes Out in San Francisco
I was walking down a San Francisco street recently on my way to a United Nations World Peace initiative celebration.
I passed a lesbian couple holding hands and initially thought that I should give them a "smile of approval".
But, I caught myself and casually glanced away instead.
I decided to do some critical thinking about my reaction to the lesbian couple.
I realized that I decided against giving the couple a smile because they didn't need my approval.
I further realized that my need to give them approval reflects my continuing efforts to embrace the GLBT community.
What? I am an accomplished diversity expert.
Accepting differences and promoting inclusion are my guiding principles.
I live in one of the most liberally-minded cities in the United States.
Could I really be lagging behind in full acceptance of the GLBT community? What I learned in critically thinking about this question was fascinating.
I am an open advocate of GLBT rights and equal treatment in communities and organizations.
This is consistent with my beliefs and values about equity.
But, I must honestly acknowledge that I don't have very many close gay or lesbian friends.
I have wonderful professional colleagues and know individuals for whom I have had a long standing acquaintance with.
Yet, my everyday friends are heterosexual-both the females and the males.
I am less apologetic than instructive in "coming out" about this.
Do I feel uncomfortable around gays and lesbians? Probably a lot less than most heterosexuals, but I noticed that I don't go out of my way to immerse myself in the gay community or to increase my contact with lesbian acquaintances.
I "proudly" attend functions my gay and lesbian acquaintances invite me to-As if it is a badge of honor.
Yes, watching men smooch in public is still something I am working through, and I still gawk more than a truly inclusive person would when gay people hold hands.
I can go on, but I think you get the point.
Now what does this mean for me as a so-called diversity expert? Initially, I thought that my revelation indicates that I should not take on consulting assignments for which GLBT issues are the primary focus.
I was then reminded of two principles that guide my work.
One is that diversity professionals are less effective individually than in teams of two or more.
So, if my expertise is needed to support a GLBT diversity project, then I should do it.
But, only to the degree that I partner with someone who is an accomplished professional in addressing GLBT issues.
I must also solicit as much feedback as possible to make certain that I am doing a good job.
The second thing is that I was also reminded of my diversity values and beliefs.
I may have a considerable amount to learn in becoming more inclusive of GLBTs, however championing their inclusion is nonnegotiable.
Not giving same gender partners benefits in an organization is an example.
It is not only wrong-headed, it undermines productivity and innovation.
That's why Fortune 500 companies and top universities support GLBT inclusion.
I remember a panel discussion at a higher education diversity conference that involved two professors-an African American male and a Jewish American lesbian.
Their assignment was to have an open dialog before the large audience about their cultural differences.
The African American male told his colleague that his religious beliefs make it difficult to accept her sexual orientation.
His lesbian colleague stated that she understood because she appreciates her Jewish religion.
She went on to say that her only request was for him to not put up barriers that would prevent her from living as freely as possible.
She gave voting on anti-GLBT rights initiatives as an example.
The male professor thought about it for a few seconds before stating that he agrees to honor her request.
Diversity experts must avoid colluding in anti-GLBT behavior because it is not good service to clients or the organizations they serve as a whole.
I recognize the work I need to do as a diversity professional.
It is a continuous learning profession.
Accepting differences as requires more than simply being tolerant.
It means doing the personal work necessary to push our limits when we awaken to shortcomings.
The couple I passed on the street did not need my approval to be two people in love.
All they need from me is to do everything that I can to promote a just society.
I passed a lesbian couple holding hands and initially thought that I should give them a "smile of approval".
But, I caught myself and casually glanced away instead.
I decided to do some critical thinking about my reaction to the lesbian couple.
I realized that I decided against giving the couple a smile because they didn't need my approval.
I further realized that my need to give them approval reflects my continuing efforts to embrace the GLBT community.
What? I am an accomplished diversity expert.
Accepting differences and promoting inclusion are my guiding principles.
I live in one of the most liberally-minded cities in the United States.
Could I really be lagging behind in full acceptance of the GLBT community? What I learned in critically thinking about this question was fascinating.
I am an open advocate of GLBT rights and equal treatment in communities and organizations.
This is consistent with my beliefs and values about equity.
But, I must honestly acknowledge that I don't have very many close gay or lesbian friends.
I have wonderful professional colleagues and know individuals for whom I have had a long standing acquaintance with.
Yet, my everyday friends are heterosexual-both the females and the males.
I am less apologetic than instructive in "coming out" about this.
Do I feel uncomfortable around gays and lesbians? Probably a lot less than most heterosexuals, but I noticed that I don't go out of my way to immerse myself in the gay community or to increase my contact with lesbian acquaintances.
I "proudly" attend functions my gay and lesbian acquaintances invite me to-As if it is a badge of honor.
Yes, watching men smooch in public is still something I am working through, and I still gawk more than a truly inclusive person would when gay people hold hands.
I can go on, but I think you get the point.
Now what does this mean for me as a so-called diversity expert? Initially, I thought that my revelation indicates that I should not take on consulting assignments for which GLBT issues are the primary focus.
I was then reminded of two principles that guide my work.
One is that diversity professionals are less effective individually than in teams of two or more.
So, if my expertise is needed to support a GLBT diversity project, then I should do it.
But, only to the degree that I partner with someone who is an accomplished professional in addressing GLBT issues.
I must also solicit as much feedback as possible to make certain that I am doing a good job.
The second thing is that I was also reminded of my diversity values and beliefs.
I may have a considerable amount to learn in becoming more inclusive of GLBTs, however championing their inclusion is nonnegotiable.
Not giving same gender partners benefits in an organization is an example.
It is not only wrong-headed, it undermines productivity and innovation.
That's why Fortune 500 companies and top universities support GLBT inclusion.
I remember a panel discussion at a higher education diversity conference that involved two professors-an African American male and a Jewish American lesbian.
Their assignment was to have an open dialog before the large audience about their cultural differences.
The African American male told his colleague that his religious beliefs make it difficult to accept her sexual orientation.
His lesbian colleague stated that she understood because she appreciates her Jewish religion.
She went on to say that her only request was for him to not put up barriers that would prevent her from living as freely as possible.
She gave voting on anti-GLBT rights initiatives as an example.
The male professor thought about it for a few seconds before stating that he agrees to honor her request.
Diversity experts must avoid colluding in anti-GLBT behavior because it is not good service to clients or the organizations they serve as a whole.
I recognize the work I need to do as a diversity professional.
It is a continuous learning profession.
Accepting differences as requires more than simply being tolerant.
It means doing the personal work necessary to push our limits when we awaken to shortcomings.
The couple I passed on the street did not need my approval to be two people in love.
All they need from me is to do everything that I can to promote a just society.
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