How to Confront Someone You Haven't Seen in a Year
- 1). Ask yourself if the matter you want to confront the person about is worth it. While the issue may have seemed important to you a year ago, it may not now. If the issue still does matter to you, ask yourself why it still matters and what you want to accomplish by confronting the person. Maybe you want an explanation from the person or simply want an apology. Helping identify what you want to get out of the confrontation can help you to achieve it. Also ask yourself if the person you are confronting matters to you. If the person is someone you couldn't care less about you may find that confronting her isn't worth your time and energy.
- 2). Strategize your confrontation carefully. Think about what you want to say to the person or how you plan to bring the topic up to him. Imagine what the person will say in response to you and what your counterarguments will be. Develop a strategy for keeping yourself calm and collected should the confrontation become heated and to help yourself avoid saying anything you might regret.
- 3). Reach out to the person and let her know that you want to reconnect and talk to her again. Feel her out and gauge if she wants to talk also and, if so, decide together when and where the confrontation can take place. Choose a safe, neutral place where you and the person can have privacy and where you can talk for several hours, if need be. Avoid holding the confrontation in public places at all costs.
- 4). Ease into your confrontation of the person slowly by starting with small talk. Be civil and ask the person how she has been, what she has been up to, how her family is or how her job is going. Asking questions about the well-being of the person can set the tone for the rest of your conversation and help prevent emotions or tempers from escalating.
- 5). Be open and honest about the issue that you are confronting the person about. Avoid beating around the bush and be direct about how you feel. Stand by your thoughts, emotions and feelings so that the person can see your point of view. Tell the person explicitly what you hope to accomplish by confronting him and how you hope things will be different in the future, for example: "I would appreciate if in the future you tell me something directly instead of saying it to other people behind my back."
- 6). Listen to the other person's side of the story. Just like you, the other person has her own thoughts and feelings about the matter which may be similar to or completely different than your own. If she listened to your side, it's only fair for you to validate her feelings and listen to what she has to say. Doing this and finding out what the other person wants to accomplish can help the two of you to come to a mutual compromise.
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