Someone recently asked me this question, "how do I know if this person is 'the one'?" As someone on the outside, it's impossible to answer that.
I don't know, and even though it's perplexing to my friend, he's the only one who could possibly answer that question.
But there are a few things that might help him come to that decision.
Here are a few things he might consider when deciding to enter a relationship with someone for the long haul.
The first thing to consider when entering a relationship is what is called "non-negotiable.
" This basically means you need to take stock with what is most important to you in a relationship.
Non-negotiable come from values and a person's character - think of it as the "essence of that person", the unchangeable things, while things like personality, interests and likes/dislikes change over the course of time.
You don't want to base a long term relationship on something as shifting as these things.
And while we may think that personality is a vital, unchanging factor, in fact, it's not all that important.
What's more important is who the person really is.
The second thing to consider when entering a relationship is both people's perception and idea of commitment.
If there's one thing to agree upon, it's this, because undoubtedly there will be conflict in the relationship, and where there's conflict, there's always a choice to be made.
That's just the nature of relationships, but if both people agree on what their definitions of commitment are, they can overcome problems without avoiding them.
Their attitude and perspective on commitment has to come together and agree that they are dedicated to one another, and not feelings.
It's not commitment if you're only committed when you feel like it.
The third thing to consider when entering a relationship is not to rely on feelings.
Feelings come and go in relationships, but if every time you had negative feelings toward somebody, you'd never be in a relationship for very long.
The relationship needs to be based on a stronger foundation than just things like having a good time together or making each other feel good.
What happens when times aren't as good or as exciting? Is it time to end the relationship? It's not only naïve to think that way, but immature.
Relationships are dynamic and change, and so do people.
Realizing, accepting and acting on this is what will make a relationship work for the long haul.
In the end, no one can answer the question whether someone is "the one" for another person except for the person themselves.
A good way to find out, though, is to meet through matchmaking and explore whether or not you are a good match.
Matchmaking not only makes it easy to find out, but also provides a safe way to get to know someone without the pressure of having to know if every person you meet might be "the one".
As an alternative to online dating, matchmaking provides a catalyst for relationships based on what both of you are looking for.