I read the subject line of the forum post "how do I get my husband to love me again" and was struck by how many times I have come across this question recently.
Perhaps it is a comfort to the wife writing the post that she is far from alone.
Many wives are finding their husband distant and their marriage becoming rather stale.
In this particular instance, it was a rather common problem that was described.
It seems that the wife had previously been working every day but made the transition a couple of years ago to being a stay at home mom after the first child was born.
Ever since then, this wife has noticed that her husband seems to pay less attention to her and does not seem to love her like he used to.
Since she wants a happy home for her children she also wants a loving marriage with her husband.
So she began asking the obvious question, how do I get my husband to love me again? Sometimes a man will come out and tell his wife he does not love her anymore.
Other times, such as in this case, the wife merely notices the signs on her own and feels the marriage cool.
Her conclusion is that her husband has fallen out of love with her.
When the wife was working every day she spent time, money and attention on her hair, makeup and wearing nice clothes as was appropriate for work.
For a stay at home mom, things are different and the demands of the children, especially young ones, leave little time or energy for her to spend on herself.
Maybe she does not want to ask her husband for help with the kids, he has plenty to do on his own.
Perhaps she even resents that a little bit.
And it can be that her husband resents the attention that the children get leaving him with a tired, somewhat haggard looking wife at the end of the day with no energy to spend on him.
The children can sometimes place wedge between the husband and wife.
This can be compounded when the husband still sees other women at work who do spend time on their looks and appearance the way his wife used to.
While the husband hopefully has some appreciation for all the wife has to do as mother, he still misses her the way she used to be.
Other times, though, women change into "mother" mode with no apology.
They think all women retain the extra weight they put on during pregnancy even though the truth is many work quickly to regain their former shape.
If a womans pre-pregnancy clothes do not fit, some will just buy cheap sweat clothes to wear "until I get my figure back".
Two years later, they have found the weight still on and the sweat clothes comfortable to wear.
While I know regaining your previous shape can be hard work, especially for some, please do not let your husband see you in only sweat clothes and other "cumfy" attire.
If your old shape is history, buy a few new clothes on a reasonable budget.
Get something that makes your current shape look its best.
Many men are just happy to see a woman put some effort into her appearance for his sake and are not upset that you may not look exactly like you used to.
Think back about how you first fell in love, and the things you did to make your husband fall in love with you.
Try a few of them again.
It does not have to be expensive or time consuming.
It can be as simple as coming up behind him and putting your arms around him for a gentle hug.
"Why should I be the first to change?" you might ask.
If he is not treating me right, why do I have to go to the effort to get my husband to fall back in love with me? The answer is that you want to save your marriage.
Think about what the right thing for YOU to do is, do not focus on what he is not doing right in your eyes.
My guess is that as he notices your efforts, he will feel guilty if he does not make some effort on his own.
He could be a tinder box ready to ignite; he is just waiting for you to supply the match.