We instinctively use our arms both for attack and for defence.
Our arms are a huge part of our physical strength.
It is not exaggeration to call our arms weapons; after all, from punching to strangling to slapping, we have learned to use our arms in combat.
The natural result of this is that the body language of arms has become an expressive communicator of aggression, dominance and strength as well as for submission, weakness and protectiveness.
What's more, because it's always easy to spot how a person is holding their arms, the body language of arms is one of the most easily read areas of all human body language.
The Basics Let's take a look at the basic elements of the body language of arms before moving on to discussing a powerful tool for using the arms in communication.
Relaxed Arms: the most relaxed position the arms can be in as down at our sides with the hands out of the pockets.
This is neither aggressive nor is it submissive.
This is also the best position to use when meeting new people because it is friendly while still being confident and comfortable.
Aggressive Arms: Any flexing of muscles in the arms is indicative of aggression or of a will to dominate.
Naturally, this is particularly the case with men.
Protective Arms: Holding the arms in front of the body is a sign of protection.
Here, the person will be covering the vital organs in their chest, throat or lower regions.
Arrogant Arms: Holding the arms behind the back so they are out of view is generally considered arrogant and can be seen in royalty.
Open or Inviting Arms: Anyone who holds their arms outwards so as to expose their body to you is giving a clearly invitational sign, most likely for you to hug them.
Using the Arms in Communication In order to use arm body language for effective communication there are two things you need to know.
Firstly, reading a person's arms will reveal how they are feeling about what you're saying (though you must also take context into account).
Secondly, if you can make a person change the way they are holding their arms you will change the way they feel about what you are saying.
Let's examine this a little further.
Using the Feelings Associated to Arm Gestures to Aid Communication Let's say you're talking to a business colleague and he's standing with his arms locked in front of his chest.
From reading the above you now know that he is feeling protective.
This means he is likely to be scanning everything you're saying for signs of threat (to protect himself against those threats).
However, you want him to open up, relax and listen calmly to what you have to say.
What do you do? In the above instance, you want the person to feel the feelings associated with holding the arms at their side, so you create some way of getting the person to move their arms to that position.
Perhaps you give them something to hold, or you might just use relaxed conversation until they themselves move their arms to their side, whereupon you can return to your original subject.
The point is this: the body language of arms is directly related to the way a person is feeling.
If a person begins to feel protective they will move their arms in front of their body.
Conversely, if a person moves their arms in front of their body, this movement itself will make them feel protective.
I'm sure you can now see how important the body language of arms is in conversation.
Be sure to make use of this valuable information.
It will help in all your communications.