I think it is very fitting to speak about my dad in this blog this week.
He passed away a week ago Monday, and it was truly a week of sadness and also soul searching for me.
I thought about this blog a lot.
My dad had chronic adult-onset diabetes, you see.
Now as a child and young adult, I never knew of the profound link between diabetes and food cravings or food addiction.
In fact, I never knew there was such a thing as food addiction.
And my dad and I used to have a grand old time, sharing food and laughs.
We liked ice-cream, cookies, donuts, and soda, and there was always a treat involved in a trip to the store with my dad.
In short my dad loved to eat and so did I.
It was one of the many levels upon which we met.
We were very connected and we loved each other a lot.
But as I watched my dad in the last years of his life, I remember thinking so frequently "What a price pleasure in food can exact.
" As time went by my father could hardly walk due to his diabetes.
He couldn't see very well.
Food began to have no flavor at all and he had a hard time swallowing.
He spent his days dozing listlessly in a chair, and was sad beyond measure at the loss of all that he had ever enjoyed in life.
And one could arguably say that he starved himself to death in the final weeks of not even being able to eat.
So what does this say to us, the masses of us, as we go about our lives? The pat and easy answer would be "just don't eat so many complex carbohydrates.
" But with food cravings, and nearly every label on every food container in the grocery store having some sort of sugar or flour product listed in the ingredients- and usually high up- this seems nearly impossible.
I know it took me nearly seven years of eating absolutely no trace of sugar, wheat or flour to feel that such things no longer had a draw for me.
Oddly enough, this is about the same amount of time it takes for the body to regenerate all of its cells- and I have often pondered that perhaps I am now literally 'a whole new me' with mo more cells that are addicted to foods.
During the week after my dad's death I did partake in some of the typical 'no-nos'.
I had some ketchup, which contains sugar.
I had a few onion rings.
My family, now used to a whole new me, was shocked.
Perhaps it was just my yearning to once again feel some comfort in food, as if my dad were back with me.
But I know I tread on dangerous waters, and I don't suggest that other food addicts try it.
So where does that leave us, as masses of us still experience cravings that seem almost debilitating and as we step closer and closer to a slow, dehumanizing decline like the one my dad experienced.
The first step is to learn about food addiction and how it operates, one person at a time.
And we hope that the more people that learn about it, the more we will be able to find healthy, tasty, and non-addicting foods in the grocery store.
Right now, it seems to be a bit of an uphill climb to find and eat non-addicting foods.
But today I feel healthy, and vibrant, and fully alive- which is more than I can say for all of the years when I ate all that stuff.
And I honor my dad's love by not going down the road that he did.
And my father was an amazingly loving man, so I am sure he would have wanted that for me.