How to Stop Being So Needy
- 1). RECOGNIZE THE PROBLEM. This first step will help you make the necessary next steps. When you realize you are being needy, it can be a hopeless and disappointing feeling. Acknowledging that you are being needy is a great first step!
- 2). FOCUS ON YOURSELF. Everyone has something positive to offer. Everyone has interests and passions of their own. Focus on those things and your self-esteem will boost.
Once your self-esteem increases, you won't have to be so needy. - 3). TAKE THINGS SLOW. Be patient with new relationships. Whether it is a new friend or a potential romantic interest, take the time to get to know the person.
Understand before someone meets you, he or she already had a life and interests besides you. If you expect this person to spend every moment thinking about you, you will be let down. This leads to the next step. - 4). HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. Sometimes we expect more than someone is capable of giving. Going into a new relationship, you may have raised the bar so high and expect so much that when they let you down, you feel devastated.
Once this happens, that need to fulfill those expectations will appear to the other person as desperation. - 5). GROW THICK SKIN. Don't be overly sensitive to remarks made by someone you care about. Don't read into it or over analyze ever little comment or you will drive yourself crazy. This will lead to doubt and you will start questioning their motives.
Learn to laugh at yourself. But, don't accept cruelty either. Just be able to recognize when you are reading too much into something. - 6). LET THE OTHER PERSON COME TO YOU. Needy people get anxious when someone does not return their phone call or e-mail right away. They start to worry and create thoughts in their mind that lead to destructive behavior.
Relax! Let them come to you before you rush into making another contact. Be patient and they will come around eventually. If not, move on gracefully. - 7). FIGURE OUT THE ROOT CAUSE. Examine what may be causing the insecurity and craving for unconditional and constant love. This may be something that happened in your past, from previous hurts.
Once you can recognize that, start to work towards healing that pain. This will allow you to be more trustful. If you are also worried about being let down, it will show in your needy behavior! - 8). HAVE YOUR OWN INTERESTS. Develop hobbies or enjoy the hobbies or interests you already have. Distracting your time with things you love will keep you busy. It will also allow you to appear less needy to others and reveal that you have your own life and interests. People are attracted to that.
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