While communication is clearly vital for the preservation of your marital relationship, research has consistently demonstrated that men and women express themselves far differently from one another.
For example, women talk on average about 3 times as much as men.
This disparity, coupled with men's natural tendencies to shut down verbally, can become the root cause of a number of marital problems.
Of course, no matter what the statistics indicate actually takes place, there is no way to determine who should (or will) do the majority of the speaking in a marriage.
Regardless of which marriage partner does the greater amount of speaking, both should always readily communicate in a healthy relationship, and do so voluntarily and without fear.
Following are some tips for constructive conversations.
Ask Rather Than Assume You can't expect to read your spouse's mind, nor should you expect the same of your mate.
If you want to know something, ask.
One of the single best ways to open the lines of communication in a marriage is simply to ask your beloved how day went.
That question alone could set the tone for an entire evening's conversation.
Of course, never try to force your partner to talk - this will only lead to a resentful attitude or stunted, unproductive conversations.
One Person at a Time While some people may find it cute that one spouse finishes sentences of the other, in most circumstances, doing so consistently can cause irritation to your husband or wife - despite best intentions.
In fact, if you make a habit of doing so, interrupting your mate, or otherwise speaking over the sound of their voice, these typically serve as communication killers.
Courtesy is just as important when speaking with - or listening to - your spouse as it is when talking to anyone else, actually more so.
Don't rush your spouse when that person is talking - it subtly conveys a message of "I'm too busy to listen to you droning on with your unimportant comments.
" Pause to Truly Listen Being party to a productive conversation requires both speaking and listening - something many people neglect or simply overlook.
Listening appropriately and intently to your spouse is often one of the best ways to encourage them to open up as much as possible.
And honestly (guys), it's a simple but effective way to say, "I love you.
" The bottom line is that every person - and therefore every marriage - faces their own set of fears and insecurities - but these negative emotions don't need to produce destructive marital results.
Making an honest effort to communicate with your spouse - listening as well as speaking - can be the most important thing you do to preserve your marriage's longevity.
Not spending less, not losing weight, not more sex, not buying gifts, not even compliments.
Effective, heartfelt communication is at the top.