The Love Junkie
You don't want to love - your eternal and abnormal craving is to be loved. You aren't positive, you're negative. You absorb, absorb, as if you must fill yourself up with love, because you've got a shortage somewhere D.H Lawrence
Why do some of us crave to be loved? Is it because we are not getting enough love or that we think that we are incomplete without it?
The desperate need to be loved can be a reason why some relationships break up, because one partner struggles to display enough love and affection or that one craves more love than they are receiving so consequently look elsewhere. Our basic understanding of love is built on the foundations of our upbringing, our parents relationship, our past sexual and love relationships and our relations with friends and family. Our view of what love is can be strongly influenced by all of these factors.
One of the basic needs all human beings have is the need to be loved. Do not let this desire for love prevent you from living a satisfactory life. It should not be the case that love should be looked upon as a necessity in life and you should not feel that you will never enjoy complete happiness until you are in a loving relationship. Remember that it is possible to be content while waiting for that special person to come along.
The Danger Signs
The need for love need not be the most important thing in your life. Thoughts of what we need can cloud our best judgement which often leads to making unreasonable assumptions on how love should be. Love should not be simply sexual desire. The sexual fulfilment of ourselves and others and the giving of oneself to a relationship that has no emotional foundations is damaging. A relationship where one of you is staying despite being disrespected and unloved is damaging to your self-respect. Lack of self-respect will leave you feeling powerless. It is important to get the balance right in a relationship and both of you need to work on this to be happy. If one of you cannot fully commit to improving things it will be impossible to make it work.
Many of us continue through life thinking that our relationship is just okay. Therefore being accepting of the situation, instead of focussing on the positive changes we could make, stop it from developing. Relationships should not be just okay. How many times have you heard someone say Were okay? All relationships need to be cared for and nurtured. A little TLC can go a long way and make a very average relationship a good and strong partnership. Often if we demonstrate a little extra love it is reciprocated and we find ourselves in a more loving place.
Throwing yourself at every person who flirts with you is also not good! A love junkie will do almost anything to get attention but unfortunately will not think twice about the consequences or the reputation they are building. A repeating history of one night stands does nothing for your future. With the increasing relaxed attitude towards casual sex, there has been a lessening of the importance of a strong solid relationship and the basic self-respect that comes with it.
Game Playing
What happens when someone shows us attention and we find ourselves enjoying it or wanting more? Relationships can easily get stuck in a rut and when a third party comes into play, things can go badly wrong. What once could have been a non-threatening mild flirtation can psychologically and physically become a huge threat to our current relationship. A wrong decision that can be instantaneous could cost you for the rest of your life. This opens up a process of hurting your partner, your children, your family and your friends. Not only does it make you an untrustworthy person but it also changes peoples perception of you and you openly invite risking the fact that your whole life will change because of a weak moment.
Perhaps you are the one who cannot help but get involved with someone who is already in a relationship? You may find them desirable because deep down you know they are unavailable yet find it too difficult to avoid the attraction. If you find yourself attracted towards people who are already attached, ask yourself what it is about this type of person that grasps your attention? If you desperately want to change this habit, visualisation can be a good method to help you focus. Imagine yourself meeting someone who is single and available where you can spend as much time with them as you want because they have nobody they need to get home for. Imagine a complete life where you can openly meet up, spend weekends and holidays together and plan a future. Attaching yourself to someone who is already attached only gives you a glimpse of love. It is not the full picture who wants to live only half a life of love? Dont be fooled! The famous saying When the mistress becomes the wife, a vacancy becomes available rings true.
We all want to be with someone who can provide us with stability, love and support. Do not misinterpret desire for love; love needs respect with a true and on-going commitment. You deserve the best!
Why do some of us crave to be loved? Is it because we are not getting enough love or that we think that we are incomplete without it?
The desperate need to be loved can be a reason why some relationships break up, because one partner struggles to display enough love and affection or that one craves more love than they are receiving so consequently look elsewhere. Our basic understanding of love is built on the foundations of our upbringing, our parents relationship, our past sexual and love relationships and our relations with friends and family. Our view of what love is can be strongly influenced by all of these factors.
One of the basic needs all human beings have is the need to be loved. Do not let this desire for love prevent you from living a satisfactory life. It should not be the case that love should be looked upon as a necessity in life and you should not feel that you will never enjoy complete happiness until you are in a loving relationship. Remember that it is possible to be content while waiting for that special person to come along.
The Danger Signs
The need for love need not be the most important thing in your life. Thoughts of what we need can cloud our best judgement which often leads to making unreasonable assumptions on how love should be. Love should not be simply sexual desire. The sexual fulfilment of ourselves and others and the giving of oneself to a relationship that has no emotional foundations is damaging. A relationship where one of you is staying despite being disrespected and unloved is damaging to your self-respect. Lack of self-respect will leave you feeling powerless. It is important to get the balance right in a relationship and both of you need to work on this to be happy. If one of you cannot fully commit to improving things it will be impossible to make it work.
Many of us continue through life thinking that our relationship is just okay. Therefore being accepting of the situation, instead of focussing on the positive changes we could make, stop it from developing. Relationships should not be just okay. How many times have you heard someone say Were okay? All relationships need to be cared for and nurtured. A little TLC can go a long way and make a very average relationship a good and strong partnership. Often if we demonstrate a little extra love it is reciprocated and we find ourselves in a more loving place.
Throwing yourself at every person who flirts with you is also not good! A love junkie will do almost anything to get attention but unfortunately will not think twice about the consequences or the reputation they are building. A repeating history of one night stands does nothing for your future. With the increasing relaxed attitude towards casual sex, there has been a lessening of the importance of a strong solid relationship and the basic self-respect that comes with it.
Game Playing
What happens when someone shows us attention and we find ourselves enjoying it or wanting more? Relationships can easily get stuck in a rut and when a third party comes into play, things can go badly wrong. What once could have been a non-threatening mild flirtation can psychologically and physically become a huge threat to our current relationship. A wrong decision that can be instantaneous could cost you for the rest of your life. This opens up a process of hurting your partner, your children, your family and your friends. Not only does it make you an untrustworthy person but it also changes peoples perception of you and you openly invite risking the fact that your whole life will change because of a weak moment.
Perhaps you are the one who cannot help but get involved with someone who is already in a relationship? You may find them desirable because deep down you know they are unavailable yet find it too difficult to avoid the attraction. If you find yourself attracted towards people who are already attached, ask yourself what it is about this type of person that grasps your attention? If you desperately want to change this habit, visualisation can be a good method to help you focus. Imagine yourself meeting someone who is single and available where you can spend as much time with them as you want because they have nobody they need to get home for. Imagine a complete life where you can openly meet up, spend weekends and holidays together and plan a future. Attaching yourself to someone who is already attached only gives you a glimpse of love. It is not the full picture who wants to live only half a life of love? Dont be fooled! The famous saying When the mistress becomes the wife, a vacancy becomes available rings true.
We all want to be with someone who can provide us with stability, love and support. Do not misinterpret desire for love; love needs respect with a true and on-going commitment. You deserve the best!
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