• Despite what the posters told us, it does not have to end 7.15.11Pixland/Pixland/Getty Images
  
  Your Hogwarts letter never arrived. You convinced yourself it was a little oversight and still diligently practiced your "swish and flick" on the off-chance your muggle blood caused you to be a late bloomer. You waited for Dumbledore to rescue you too from suburban normalcy (thinking your birthmark must have meant something) but by book six, you started to lose hope. The movies (especially in IMAX 3D) both thrilled and taunted you, and in July 2011, you sobbed your way through the final film chapter, refusing to resign yourself to the fact that this world was purely fictional. Determined to add flesh to this fantastical reality, you've decided to get a Harry Potter tattoo, like the Twilight fans. Thankfully, there are innumerable tattoo options for wannabe wizards of any house and level of FANnaticism.
  
  

First Year Fans (You've read a book or two and seen all of the movies)

• If you're just warming up to the idea of "Wingardium Leviosa" and your "Houses" are beginning to feel like home, you're probably just now catching the Harry Potter Floo so we'll call you a "First Year Fan." If you're a Hufflepuff Hopeful, you might want to boast your house pride by proudly bearing the badger, your house mascot, on your lower back. If you're less kitschy and more witty, you wise Would-Be-Ravenclaws should consider ethereal quotes, waiflike riddles or trite bites of wisdom. If you're sure you'd be sorted into Slytherin, there's no doubt that you will want to brag about your bloodline, so why not be a little cheeky get a coat of arms, on your arms. Lastly, daring and courageous Got-To-Be Gryffindors will most likely want to show off their brawn and brashness so really, anything from the Gryffindor Lion to the Fat Lady is fair game.
  
  

O.W.L.s on the Horizon (You've read all the books and you've seen all the movies)

• For those of you who are just about to take your O.W.Ls (Ordinary Wannabewizard Levels) of fan-hood you're probably looking for something more cutting-edge than a henna showing off would-be house pride. If Herbology is your subject du jour, mandrakes make wonderful mid-thigh tattoos. If Care of Magical Creatures is your best class, a Buckbeak tribute tattoo (R.I.P -- wink wink) would be both tenacious and thoughtful. If you only really care about Quidditch, you'll want to decide which ball you relate to the most -- (i.e. are you sparkly and illusive like the snitch? Or are you a rogue force of destruction like the bludger?). If you're going for something less classroom oriented/obvious and instead want to highlight the hidden side of Hogwarts, there are still many options -- provided that you solemnly swear you are up to no good. Between Aragog, the Basilisk and the Whomping Willow, you could unearth the underbelly of Hogwarts in one tattoo session, but if you prefer things of higher intellect, like the Marauder's Map and reincarnating birds, Fawkes and/or the phrase "Mischief Managed" are both excellent porteys of conversation, and droll double entendres.
  
  

N.E.W.T.s in the bag (You've read the books multiple times and you've slept out to see the movies)

• If you've passed your Nastily Exhausting Wannabewizarding Test, you know what your patronous is. As your patronous is extremely personal, you might want to get your patronus tattooed in a less conspicuous place. Depending on your fashion preferences, your patronus could be equally personal and protected if you decide to place it on the inside of your wrist. This way, you can cover it with your watch band but also take sneak peeks when you need some of its powerful positive energy.
  
  

Auror-in-training (all the above + you accidentally broke your leg trying to fly your kitchen broom)

• You live and breathe Harry Potter. You've pretended your bedroom comforter is an invisibility cloak, you've attempted to jinx your cat and you've convinced yourself that House Elves are the reason you can never find that second sock. Now is the time to take your FANnaticism to the next level and really wear the wizarding world on your sleeve. Literally. At this point, you know which side you're on. As He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was presumed dead once before, you know the dark side can only be dormant for so long. If you've decided to align yourself with what's left of the Dark Side, now is the appropriate time to get your Dark Mark. (Please see Tips & Warnings below) If, on the other hand, you've decided to continue Harry Potter's crusade against evil, you could permanently align yourself with the lighter side by getting your own lightning bolt scar. After all of this, if you still don't know whether you're a Hufflepuff or a Gryffindor, a Death Eater of a Member of the Order, you might consider a non-territorial tattoo, such as a quote or an antiquated, non-polarized wizarding symbol. If you opt for the latter, you could join Xenophilius Lovegood (and the burgeoning cohort of fans who are one step ahead of you) and forever wear The Deathly Hallows. (Again, please see Tips & Warnings below). If you're leaning towards the former, Lemon Drop that gargoyle and look no further than book 7, page 723. As usual, Albus Dumbledore has a bit of advice that spans all ages, houses and allegiances, "Of course it is happening inside your head Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"
  
  

Tips & Warnings

• As of 2011, tattoo removal is expensive and painful. It is important to make sure you are 100% confident in your level of Potter Pride before proceeding to the tattoo parlor.
  
  Before getting the Dark Mark on your wrist (regardless of the duplicity of the intent), be warned that Draco Malfoy is due to produce children (quite possibly, the anti-Christ) and that the mark is more than just a tattoo! It's magical!
  
  In addition to being totally en vogue after the last movie installment, The Deathly Hollows is an excellent tattoo choice for those of you who (god forbid) may one day decide that you want to "take the blue pill" and leave the would-be wizarding world behind you. The wand and cloak can be passed off as a bisected isosceles triangle, and you can pretend that you are an overzealous geometrician instead of an indignant muggle.