This has to be the most common question I get from people in my email coaching program. How do you find out? What is the first step? And do you even want to know?

When someone asks me "Does my ex still love me?", what they are really trying to find out is what are the chances they will get rejected when they attempt to get their ex back. Think about it, why do you want to know if your ex still loves you? If you are reading this article, chances are you really just want to know if there is a chance they will reject you if you try to patch up the relationship.

So that is the first step. Knowing why you want to find out if your ex still has feelings for you. When you know the reason for wanting to know, you can make your attempts to find out more focused.

Ok, so the second step is to make sure you have a strong center. My regular readers will know that I am a big believer in coming from a place of strength and confidence when you are trying to get your ex back. It is the secret ingredient that a lot of "gurus" forget to mention. I don't have space to go into detail here, but look up yourself how to build those emotions of confidence and self worth, and you will notice huge chances, not only in your quest to get your lover back, but also in your everyday life.

The third step is a bit harder than the two first. I will focus on an ex that you are still able to talk to and are in contact with. Finding out if an ex that doesn't talk to you, still loves you is another topic for another time. There are three main things that an ex will do if they are still in love with you.

First they will ask you about your personal development. When they do this they are trying to find out if you are making changes in your life. Maybe some habits of yours drove them crazy and they want to make sure you have grown out of them before coming back to you.

Second they will ask you to go out to places by yourselves. If your ex still loves you they will often ask you to visit old places you two used to go to when you were together. The best policy here is to not go. Suggest a different place and go there. That way your ex will get the same feeling of excitement and interest they had at the beginning of the relationship.

The third and final thing an ex will usually do if they still love you is call you to just talk. This is a tricky one, you do not want to answer every call from your ex, otherwise they will be emotionally satisfied and unmotivated to get back together. Pick and choose the times you answer calls from your ex, it will pay off.

Of course there are many other signals but I'll save them for another time.

Good luck!