The L Word Season Three ? Episode 4,
Guest Stars: Alan Cumming, Dana Delaney, Alexandra Hedison, Billie Jean King, Keram Malicki-Sanchez, Russell Simmons, and approximately 10 minutes of Lauren Lee Smith Music by ezgirl

Billings, Montana ? 1984

Sister Agatha is repentant. Remember Agatha, the lesbian nun from last week?s episode? She found her thrill in Toni? Well, she has decided to go to conversion camp, where she meets Frank, an ex-gay.

(Can you say oxymoron?) Frank takes Sister Agatha home to ?meet? his wife. Evidently, a threesome that consists of two women and a man is not sinful. Who knew? Note the chart line connecting Agatha and Frank?what could it mean? Where will that line lead? Perhaps Frank is Lisa the Lesbian Identified Male?s (LIM) father? One can only wonder.

Tina Is Season One Bette

Is Bette the Season One Tina? Hell, no! But damn, Tina has gotten bitchy this season. Hormones? Sexual identity confusion? Demanding that Bette pick up Mama T?s dry cleaning? What?s up with that! Tina, like Bette, ?I miss you.? Come back to us. Remember those nice things you said to Mama B last season, especially in Season Two Episode Nine, or even in the Season Two Finale? Repeat after me: ?I want to have our baby in my home. I want us to have a home together.? Or something like that. Not that I really know or have memorized?

Dana?s Hero, Billie Jean King

Billie Jean King interviews Dana. (Note to Ilene and the Editors: It?s helpful to have the two actresses in the same studio.

It was a bit obvious that the two were filmed separately. Thanks, just a suggestion.) Watch Dana gush and blush and talk about being an out lesbian tennis star, how she couldn?t be who she is without the pioneering efforts of Billie Jean. Dana has got her game on and the wins keep coming. We see Dana falter during one tense match (Foreshadowing #1009) but prevail in the end. Check out the live and televised steamy embrace shared by Dana and Lara! Love-Win-Match! Ok, I give in. They are rather cute together.

Bette, Will You Run for President? Please!

Bette heads to Washington to testify on behalf of her passion project and funding for the Arts. When a neo-con Senator attempts to burn one of Bette?s images, Bette jumps out of her seat and declares, ?You know what you are? You?re just the latest reigning vigilantes, self-appointed cultural watchdogs, devoting countless hours and enviable resources to this bogus mission of stifling creative expression in the name of patriotism. It is a wanton distraction. Let?s just be forthright and honest about what is truly unpatriotic. Abject poverty is unpatriotic. The failure of our education system is unpatriotic. Lies told by Presidents as justification for war is unpatriotic. It is unpatriotic that elected lawmakers fail to acknowledge let alone address real desperation.?
Bring it!! The hot hot performance catches the eye of Senator Grisham, played so seductively by Dana Delaney. (Senator Grisham is from Massachusetts and clearly that makes her a lesbian.) Senator Grisham, the Democratic Power Dyke, asks Bette back to her apartment to check out her modern art collection. (Why didn?t I ever get pick up lines like this? Would have made my dating experience so much more enjoyable.) Bette accepts the offer, even though she has an early morning flight back to LA, even though she has Mama T and Baby A waiting for her, even though...Resisting temptation, Bette reaches out to Tina, calling her from the Senator?s bathroom. It is a heartbreaking scene, revealing how distant the two have grown. Can they find a way back to one another? Will they?