Question: What is a Parenting Plan?

Answer:

A parenting plan is a legal agreement between separated or divorced parents that sets out a specific schedule for the children as well as the parents. The plan will outline the who, when and where of visitation and living arrangements for children during and after the divorce.

It is also an opportunity for parents to work together and come up with a “plan” for successful co-parenting.

I’m of the belief that before there is a separation, while both parents are still living in the home there should be a parenting plan put into place. Doing so will keep there from being any chaos or confusion when a parent moves out of the home.

Your parenting plan is basically an agreement on how you, your ex and your children will live after the divorce. It is more of a life plan than parenting plan and if special consideration is taken when negotiating a parenting plan divorce will be easier to navigate for all involved.

What You Should Include in Your Parenting Plan:

You should take into consideration the needs and perspective of your child. Your main priority is the build a plan that is flexible and allows both parents time with the child.

• Let your first plan be a “trial plan “to be revisited in a couple of months. Having a trial parenting plan gives you the chance to go back and make changes if you or your child’s needs are not being met.
   
  
• Keep in mind that a plan that works for a toddler will not work for a teenager. The parenting plan will need to be adjusted as circumstances and your child’s needs change.
   
  

• A time schedule that outlines exactly when your child will be with each parent.
   
  
• Information about who provides what care, who is responsible for the expenses of care provided when the child is not with the parents.
   
  
• Guidelines about the parent’s behavior toward each other in front of the child. This is a business plan; you should behave in a businesslike manner and keep conflict out of your child’s life.
   
  
• A residential schedule outlining where your child will spend weekends and week days.
   
  
• A holiday schedule outlining holiday visitation, the dates and times the child will be with one parent or the other during a holiday. There should also be rules about whether or not the child has a passport and who has possession of the passport.
   
  
• A vacation schedule that expressly deals with where the child will spend breaks from school, which parent and for how long. And when each parent can plan family vacations with the children, what kind of notice needs to be given and what kind of information needs to be shared with the other parent about vacation dates, destination and travel arrangement.
   
  
• How medical and dental care issues will be handled. Who is responsible for meeting doctor’s appointments, who pays how much toward the cost of medical expenses and which parent provides health insurance.
   
  
• How the child’s education will be handled. Will there be private school, if so how will tuition be split. How will extra-curricular activities be handled?
   
  
• Where will exchanges be made and who will transport the child to and from the other parent’s home or exchange location.
   
  
• Rules concerning what happens should one parent say something negative about the other parent in front of the child.
   
  
• Agreements on what steps should be taken to assure the child is safe. Does the child always wear a seat belt while in the car? Is the child not permitted to be around certain people? What happens if one parent drinks or does drugs in front of the child?
   
  
• Always include the “right of first refusal” rule. In other words, if one parent is unable to care for the child during their parenting time, the other parent is given the opportunity for more time with the child instead of leaving the child in daycare or with a babysitter.
   
  
• A plan for how any disputes between the parents will be handled. Will the parents agree to mediation to handle disputes instead of hiring attorneys?

Keep in mind, putting together a parenting plan is not about which parent gets to spend more time with the child. Children do best when they have a meaningful and equal relationship with both parents.