I most recently went to see my daughter perform in a dance routine.
Overall the performance was a great success.
I enjoyed the whole program and was moved with witnessing so many children able to follow instructions and entertain a crowd of people to the degree where it seems all were really enjoying themselves which I believe they were because it was in a fun atmosphere setting.
Upon finishing the event on the way to the car my daughter asked me how she had done, unfortunately I spoke too soon and the wrong choice of words came out of my mouth.
I told her overall the performance was good, but I felt as an individual she had done "pitiful.
" That word "pitiful" crushed her immensely.
I let her know why in my opinion her performance was the way I seen it; she was not hearing it and began to cry and attempt to justify her performance.
After screaming at me, and crying she began to calm down and told me she did not want to talk about right then.
I let her know Clark had came out and not her Dad.
Understand, I come from a background of a family of entertainer's and I was critiquing my daughter from the perspective of being an entertainer and not being my daughter saying what she wanted to hear as a daddy; what a mistake.
I must admit the harsh word "pitiful" from my mouth crushed her, but it was not intentional, but based on what I viewed while watching her dance I let her know why in detail why I said the performance was pitiful.
After, examining myself I wish I could take the word back, but I can't.
So, I had to build her up again and pointed out the positives of her performance, which was smiling at the audience, being on the right beat, and her classmates cheering her on by calling out her name.
I basically criticized her for looking at her counterparts, which made her appear like she didn't know the dance routine.
While admitting to her; her performance was not as bad and the word pitiful I told her I used the wrong choice of words, and I was sorry for saying such a devastating word.
This made her feel somewhat better, but the damage was already done.
Point and case of this article is to be honest with your children letting them know when you have said something to them that's not good, admitting when you are wrong and apologize and mean it.
Let your children know you are human and your flesh rises up in you just like it does in them.
We all make mistakes; but we have to humble ourselves if we expect to continue to earn the respect we need from our children.
Remember, love and blood is always thicker than water.