After you have discovered that your spouse has had or is having an affair, you are going to need some serious help for your marriage. You should get help as soon as possible, the longer you postpone it and try to handle it yourself, the more complicated it can be for you. You are experiencing all types of negative thoughts and mental images, mostly without even knowing the details.

Your marriage will not have a chance of surviving unless a very important issue is settled. That is, how do you handle the details of this affair. You and your spouse can survive this affair as have many other couples in the past, but your efforts will fail unless you decide how you are going to handle the details as painful as it may be. Some couples may find they can handle it without going into all the details but some may find that the route for them is to disclose.

The spouse that was cheated on should be the one to make the decision as to how much of the details they can stand to know. The one that did the cheating might feel that giving all the details of their affair may make things worse and make reconciliation more difficult. The victim is the one that can decide if they feel the details will help them get past this terrible time in their life.

As a victim you may need answers to some burning questions to help confirm that suspicions you had were true. You may have had a gut feeling about something and getting confirmation to this will explain things for you. Once you learn the answers there is no taking it back, so be sure getting these answers will benefit you and not make it worse.