A Perspective On Today"s Anxiety
The evening news informs us of war, terrorism, potential pandemics, corruption and murder.
Add normal everyday conflicts with children, parents, neighbors, and the boss and it's not surprising we're more anxious than usual these days.
If we're not worrying about the world in general, we're concerned about our individual lives and the lives of our families.
These problems aren't going to disappear in the foreseeable future.
Nevertheless, it's possible to get out from under the pile of stress, confusion and uncertainly.
One way is to follow the advice of any good mental health professional: visit with friends, turn off the TV, take a walk, listen to music, relax in a bubble bath, read a book of inspiration, do something for someone else, meditate.
These are perfectly good suggestions, but they focus on the symptoms of our emotional and physical tension and do not, in themselves, get to the cause of our distress.
There have been many times in history when the outcome of events was far from certain.
Why has the current climate created such a large-scale sense of unease? In this first article written specifically for the Coping in Today's World section, I discuss the factors that I believe contribute to our anxiety - beyond the facts of the events themselves - and offer suggestions for what we can do about them.
Seeing the World in Black and White A common reaction to anxiety is to get as much control over the perceived threat as we can.
Since there's not much we can do directly about complex global events, we do the next best thing.
We gather as much information about a situation as we can.
Then we fashion some vague sense of control out of the belief that we understand the situation and know what "should" be done about it.
Things may not turn out the way we want, but, by Jove, we feel confident that at least we were on the right track, even though others may not have taken our advice.
Unfortunately, there aren't enough hours in the day to digest all the news, analyses, and pundit's opinions thrown at us so that we can be absolutely sure we've been given the whole picture.
Nevertheless, even though TV anchors cram brief news into a few minutes between their light-hearted banter and ubiquitous commercials, we want to believe we know as much as we need to know to form an intelligent opinion.
Add enough of those incomplete reports and pretty soon we find ourselves repeating sound bites with which we agree and dismissing opposing points of view as misguided or ignorant.
That is why some of us wave the flag and believe those who don't agree with our perspective are unpatriotic.
We're convinced we're bringing democracy to the Middle-East.
Others are just as firm in their conviction that our liberties are being worn away in the fight against terrorism.
They believe the administration's basically go-it-alone policy creates a breeding ground for more terrorists and we are less safe than we were before.
Consequently, it's rare to hear a discussion among friends and co-workers on most issues of deeply held positions where someone doesn't claim somebody (whether that's George W.
Bush or the protester standing on the corner) is "stupid," "an idiot," "doesn't know what he's talking about," "leading us to hell in a hand basket," etc.
What's so bad about stating our views? Taking a firm, non-negotiable stand on what we believe is right and wrong would be fine except for two things.
First, that approach, which has been around for centuries in one form or another, leads inevitably to "us" and "them", friends and enemies, good guys and bad guys.
It's a position that leads inevitably to the very kind of situation in which the world finds itself embroiled these days.
Distrust.
Anger.
Resentment.
Envy.
But the second reason that absolutes should be handled with care was stated with some humor by the opening speaker for a conference of therapists which I recently attended.
Commenting that "the world is not burdened by an overabundance of wisdom," he went on to say that he'd found a wise response to almost any issue.
What's so great about it is how effectively it relieves the pressure of having to have THE right answer.
When others are thrashing one another with diametrically opposing points of view, just sit back, take a deep breath, nod wisely, and, when asked for your opinion, thoughtfully respond by saying, "Well, it's a little more complicated than that.
" It's easy to see the wisdom in this approach, isn't it? Few things are absolutely black or white.
But too many of us are uncomfortable in the gray zone.
We're like the couple watching television in a recent "Bizarro" cartoon by Dan Piraro.
She's sitting on the sofa eating pretzels and he's got a drink in his hand.
The voice from the TV says, "WARNING: The following program contains facts that will challenge the self-centered fantasies and bigotries you now hold.
For your comfort, AMERICAN IDOL is playing on another channel.
" Okay, maybe that's unfair to the majority of Americans (and others) who are overwhelmed by all the information that's out there, but how can focusing on the complexity of life lower one's level of anxiety? Didn't I say earlier that having an opinion, even though it may not be based on every last shred of evidence, gives one a greater sense of control - which supposedly leads to less anxiety? The problem is that the "control" we feel is an illusion, in the long run, because people are complex and there no simple answers.
Even more significant, however, is the fact that one of the primary reasons we want to be sure we're right is that we use our beliefs to protect ourselves from a world filled with strange people and strange ideas.
But in this rapidly shrinking world we are forced to interact with millions who haven't had the experiences we've had and don't share our particular point of view.
By clinging tightly to our opinions, we are likely to miss the very piece of information we need to create a more complete view of the situation.
Looking for the gray If we consciously attempt to find a middle ground between black and white views we thought we needed to shore up our sense of frailty in a chaotic world, we discover a paradox.
Embracing the gray areas actually lowers our anxiety.
By assuming there are several legitimate ways to view a situation, we not only are better able to understand a little of how the world appears through another person's eyes.
We don't expend as much energy defending our positions.
Now don't get me wrong.
I'm not wishy-washy.
I have very strong opinions.
As a recovering perfectionist, I have spent years honing my ability to draw conclusions - and have not hesitated stating them.
However, the older I become, the more I'm aware that many of my previously held opinions have given way to new, sometimes opposite, opinions.
And I no longer bet my bottom dollar on what I read and am even skeptical of what I see (or at least of my interpretation of those events).
I've learn too often that the public is told a particular decision is being made for an important, seemingly logical, legitimate reason - only to discover many years later that we've been deceived.
And in case you're wondering, my advice to keep an open mind applies to liberals and conservatives, to fundamentalists of all religious persuasions, to moderate believers, agnostics, and atheists, to the educated as well as the uneducated, to members of all races and cultures, and to others I haven't mentioned.
If you happen to fall in any of these categories, look for the gray, be skeptical both of what "experts" tell you and the "common sense" of the average person.
Keep an open mind.
Doubt.
Become genuinely, honestly, wholeheartedly interested in what everyone says, because somewhere in there is the truth - and you may not have learned it yet.
Putting my philosophy into practice I have learned that if I apply this approach when listening to the news or discussing issues with friends and colleagues, I almost always learn something.
Even though I may not change the another person's mind (and they may not change mine) on basic issues, I can better connect with the heart of the another person, even if our minds continue to disagree.
Let me tell you about such a conversation I had in the Dallas International airport six days after the war began.
The man sitting next to me as we waited for our plane was a Muslim who was born in Egypt, was now a U.
S.
citizen, and taught mechanical engineering at an eastern college.
After learning this about him, he soon launched into a discussion about the war, against which he was very strongly opposed.
And, while I didn't like us going into Iraq without more United Nations' support, I could see that he was particularly upset.
At first, I thought we might have a give-and-take of ideas, but he seemed glad to have someone to talk with and kept asking me why Christians didn't follow Jesus' instruction to be peace makers.
When I attempted to give him examples of churches that were part of the antiwar peace movement, I could see he didn't absorb that information, for he returned to the topic again.
"What would you do about Saddam," I asked.
"Saddam is a wicked man," he replied, "But you could get rid of him by giving arms to the people in his country who hate him.
" I'm not sure that would have been very realistic, but he seemed glad to have an audience where he could express his frustration, so I sat back and, acknowledging that the situation was "a little more complex" than many people wanted it to be, asked him how he came to his point of view.
Well, I got an earful.
It was very informative.
As you might expect, he said the major problem in the Middle-east was Israel and when I asked why, he gave me a list of inequities that he claims Israel has committed against the Palestinians.
For example, he said the Israelis get five gallons of water for every gallon the Palestinians get.
I don't know if that is true or not, but if it is true, I, too, believe that is unfair.
Since I honestly wanted to understand why he believed what he believed and was looking for the gray area in which we might find agreement, I had a meaningful encounter with the gentleman.
His comments gave me something to think about and helped me see why he felt so strongly about his position.
As I left him to board my plane, I realized I felt calm, not at all filled the tension that I would have been experienced had I been determined to dismiss him as wrong - or to prove that I had a better take on the whole affair.
Trying to Avoid Pain and Suffering Is there anyone in the world who wouldn't want to be in control of his or her life? Is there anyone who wouldn't like to avoid pain? Not that I know of.
But we Americans seem to need even more control than the average person and we're more averse to pain than those who live in countries where people have not been isolated from war and conflict on their soil.
Our attempts to avoid pain and suffering arise, in part, because of the way we've been raised.
Remember the poem by William Earnest Henley? If you've forgotten it, here it is again:
Today, however, we're fed clichés that by-pass the part about rising above adversity.
From every quarter we're told that if we can dream it, we can accomplish it.
Success is ours if only we seek it.
There is (or will surely be in the near future) a pill to cure every ill, whether physical, emotional, or mental, from drinking and overeating to gambling and promiscuous sex.
And it's society's fault if we break the law or cause injury to someone else.
So it's not surprising that on a recent National Public Radio program a researcher discussed the baby boomer's tendency to believe that "death is an option.
" At least many seem to act as though there must be a way to avoid being the recipient of tragedy.
As a therapist colleague of mine notes, baby boomers ask, "Who can I sue to take away my narcissistic pain? You surely don't expect ME to deal with my emotional pain MYSELF!" This isn't true of everyone, of course, but there does seem to be a tendency of many to feel that surely there must be a pill for all ills.
Even though our innocence, our sense of invulnerability, our belief that these things shouldn't happen to us, was shattered on September 11, 2001, we still carry a lingering sense of entitlement to a pain-free existence.
How does this attitude relate to the anxiety so many of us feel these days? Well, it seems to me that a large component of our angst arises from our reluctance to deal with suffering.
In fact, I wonder if a reason juries like to award large sums for "pain and suffering" might have to do with our reluctance to accept the reality that life involves pain.
We can't buy ourselves out of that reality.
Pain happens.
But the more we cling to the belief that pain shouldn't happen to us, the more we will feel anxious about the possibility, in today's uncertain world, that it may.
Furthermore, if we fight pain when we are experiencing it, we suffer more acutely than we would if we allowed the pain to simply be something we are experiencing.
Similarly, if we fight the idea that pain may at some point enter our lives, we increase our anxiety.
If we accept the reality that unpleasant things may happen, that we're not immune, we can accept that awareness into our consciousness without permitting the thought to control us.
Can Anyone Really Prepare for a Potential Disaster? We can build houses where we can get out of the rain, yet some day a hurricane can strike that is stronger than our skill at building.
We can do the best job we possibly can at work, yet still lose our job when our company closes.
We can tighten our borders, yet still experience terrorism.
When we read about the probability of terrible things happening to us, even though it may be remote, our anxiety ratchets up a few notches as we picture ourselves bloodied and torn.
The images in our minds expand until all we can see is the trauma - of something that hasn't yet happened.
It is this image that gives weight to our anxiety.
We stay stuck in that image, just as some people who actually experience such events stay stuck.
Fortunately, while we may not be able to prevent all accidents and traumatic events from intruding into our lives, we now know why some people are able to pass through such events and come out the other side without major damage to their psyche, even though their body may be scarred.
Evidence for this statement is based on a clinical study done in Israel on survivors of suicide bombings.
When blood pressure was taken in the hospital right after the event and then a short time later, some people were able to slow down their heart rate and, in effect, comfort their traumatized body.
Whether this happened because family showed up or the person simply was able to realize they had survived and could continue living, the result for the body was dramatic.
The blood pressure for others remained high.
What is fascinating is that those who could calm themselves did not later experience PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).
After the initial shock, their brains were able to accept the bombing and they could get on with their lives.
The brains of those who weren't able to reduce their stress level fairly soon after the event remained stuck in the trauma.
Years ago I heard about a farmer who worried that his house and barn would burn down.
While his family dismissed his concerns as improbable, thinking one or the other might burn, not both, he played in his mind the scenario of what would happen.
When, to his family's amazement, a fire did sweep through both buildings, he was the only one who kept his wits about him, leading the animals to safety and saving important papers from the house.
What does the study in Israel and the farmer have to do with you and your current state of anxiety? I believe it suggests that one way to reduce anxiety about such potential events is to realize that IF something were to happen - even though in all likelihood it will never happen to you, but just in case it might - have a plan for how you will deliberately calm yourself.
What you can do now, long before anything might >happen, is to have a plan.
Replace the picture you perhaps have in your mind of terrible carnage and bloodied bodies (if that happens to be an image that feeds your anxiety) with one in which you imagine yourself after such an event surrounded by family and friends.
Notice how it feels to receive support from loving connections with others.
Some of us are concerned about the possibility that even though biochemical weapons may not happen to us, they will be happening to someone else, and that feels horrible, too.
We would want to have support for that kind of emotional pain as well, so right now think of a friend you will call for comfort and support if something dreadful happens.
Have in mind a prayer you will say.
Practice a breathing technique you will use just as soon as you can.
So while we can't be 100% sure that we're able to prevent disaster, we can go a long way toward lessening the anxiety we experience in fearing it will happen by knowing you can deal with whatever happens and can calm ourselves in case our fears come true.
Add normal everyday conflicts with children, parents, neighbors, and the boss and it's not surprising we're more anxious than usual these days.
If we're not worrying about the world in general, we're concerned about our individual lives and the lives of our families.
These problems aren't going to disappear in the foreseeable future.
Nevertheless, it's possible to get out from under the pile of stress, confusion and uncertainly.
One way is to follow the advice of any good mental health professional: visit with friends, turn off the TV, take a walk, listen to music, relax in a bubble bath, read a book of inspiration, do something for someone else, meditate.
These are perfectly good suggestions, but they focus on the symptoms of our emotional and physical tension and do not, in themselves, get to the cause of our distress.
There have been many times in history when the outcome of events was far from certain.
Why has the current climate created such a large-scale sense of unease? In this first article written specifically for the Coping in Today's World section, I discuss the factors that I believe contribute to our anxiety - beyond the facts of the events themselves - and offer suggestions for what we can do about them.
Seeing the World in Black and White A common reaction to anxiety is to get as much control over the perceived threat as we can.
Since there's not much we can do directly about complex global events, we do the next best thing.
We gather as much information about a situation as we can.
Then we fashion some vague sense of control out of the belief that we understand the situation and know what "should" be done about it.
Things may not turn out the way we want, but, by Jove, we feel confident that at least we were on the right track, even though others may not have taken our advice.
Unfortunately, there aren't enough hours in the day to digest all the news, analyses, and pundit's opinions thrown at us so that we can be absolutely sure we've been given the whole picture.
Nevertheless, even though TV anchors cram brief news into a few minutes between their light-hearted banter and ubiquitous commercials, we want to believe we know as much as we need to know to form an intelligent opinion.
Add enough of those incomplete reports and pretty soon we find ourselves repeating sound bites with which we agree and dismissing opposing points of view as misguided or ignorant.
That is why some of us wave the flag and believe those who don't agree with our perspective are unpatriotic.
We're convinced we're bringing democracy to the Middle-East.
Others are just as firm in their conviction that our liberties are being worn away in the fight against terrorism.
They believe the administration's basically go-it-alone policy creates a breeding ground for more terrorists and we are less safe than we were before.
Consequently, it's rare to hear a discussion among friends and co-workers on most issues of deeply held positions where someone doesn't claim somebody (whether that's George W.
Bush or the protester standing on the corner) is "stupid," "an idiot," "doesn't know what he's talking about," "leading us to hell in a hand basket," etc.
What's so bad about stating our views? Taking a firm, non-negotiable stand on what we believe is right and wrong would be fine except for two things.
First, that approach, which has been around for centuries in one form or another, leads inevitably to "us" and "them", friends and enemies, good guys and bad guys.
It's a position that leads inevitably to the very kind of situation in which the world finds itself embroiled these days.
Distrust.
Anger.
Resentment.
Envy.
But the second reason that absolutes should be handled with care was stated with some humor by the opening speaker for a conference of therapists which I recently attended.
Commenting that "the world is not burdened by an overabundance of wisdom," he went on to say that he'd found a wise response to almost any issue.
What's so great about it is how effectively it relieves the pressure of having to have THE right answer.
When others are thrashing one another with diametrically opposing points of view, just sit back, take a deep breath, nod wisely, and, when asked for your opinion, thoughtfully respond by saying, "Well, it's a little more complicated than that.
" It's easy to see the wisdom in this approach, isn't it? Few things are absolutely black or white.
But too many of us are uncomfortable in the gray zone.
We're like the couple watching television in a recent "Bizarro" cartoon by Dan Piraro.
She's sitting on the sofa eating pretzels and he's got a drink in his hand.
The voice from the TV says, "WARNING: The following program contains facts that will challenge the self-centered fantasies and bigotries you now hold.
For your comfort, AMERICAN IDOL is playing on another channel.
" Okay, maybe that's unfair to the majority of Americans (and others) who are overwhelmed by all the information that's out there, but how can focusing on the complexity of life lower one's level of anxiety? Didn't I say earlier that having an opinion, even though it may not be based on every last shred of evidence, gives one a greater sense of control - which supposedly leads to less anxiety? The problem is that the "control" we feel is an illusion, in the long run, because people are complex and there no simple answers.
Even more significant, however, is the fact that one of the primary reasons we want to be sure we're right is that we use our beliefs to protect ourselves from a world filled with strange people and strange ideas.
But in this rapidly shrinking world we are forced to interact with millions who haven't had the experiences we've had and don't share our particular point of view.
By clinging tightly to our opinions, we are likely to miss the very piece of information we need to create a more complete view of the situation.
Looking for the gray If we consciously attempt to find a middle ground between black and white views we thought we needed to shore up our sense of frailty in a chaotic world, we discover a paradox.
Embracing the gray areas actually lowers our anxiety.
By assuming there are several legitimate ways to view a situation, we not only are better able to understand a little of how the world appears through another person's eyes.
We don't expend as much energy defending our positions.
Now don't get me wrong.
I'm not wishy-washy.
I have very strong opinions.
As a recovering perfectionist, I have spent years honing my ability to draw conclusions - and have not hesitated stating them.
However, the older I become, the more I'm aware that many of my previously held opinions have given way to new, sometimes opposite, opinions.
And I no longer bet my bottom dollar on what I read and am even skeptical of what I see (or at least of my interpretation of those events).
I've learn too often that the public is told a particular decision is being made for an important, seemingly logical, legitimate reason - only to discover many years later that we've been deceived.
And in case you're wondering, my advice to keep an open mind applies to liberals and conservatives, to fundamentalists of all religious persuasions, to moderate believers, agnostics, and atheists, to the educated as well as the uneducated, to members of all races and cultures, and to others I haven't mentioned.
If you happen to fall in any of these categories, look for the gray, be skeptical both of what "experts" tell you and the "common sense" of the average person.
Keep an open mind.
Doubt.
Become genuinely, honestly, wholeheartedly interested in what everyone says, because somewhere in there is the truth - and you may not have learned it yet.
Putting my philosophy into practice I have learned that if I apply this approach when listening to the news or discussing issues with friends and colleagues, I almost always learn something.
Even though I may not change the another person's mind (and they may not change mine) on basic issues, I can better connect with the heart of the another person, even if our minds continue to disagree.
Let me tell you about such a conversation I had in the Dallas International airport six days after the war began.
The man sitting next to me as we waited for our plane was a Muslim who was born in Egypt, was now a U.
S.
citizen, and taught mechanical engineering at an eastern college.
After learning this about him, he soon launched into a discussion about the war, against which he was very strongly opposed.
And, while I didn't like us going into Iraq without more United Nations' support, I could see that he was particularly upset.
At first, I thought we might have a give-and-take of ideas, but he seemed glad to have someone to talk with and kept asking me why Christians didn't follow Jesus' instruction to be peace makers.
When I attempted to give him examples of churches that were part of the antiwar peace movement, I could see he didn't absorb that information, for he returned to the topic again.
"What would you do about Saddam," I asked.
"Saddam is a wicked man," he replied, "But you could get rid of him by giving arms to the people in his country who hate him.
" I'm not sure that would have been very realistic, but he seemed glad to have an audience where he could express his frustration, so I sat back and, acknowledging that the situation was "a little more complex" than many people wanted it to be, asked him how he came to his point of view.
Well, I got an earful.
It was very informative.
As you might expect, he said the major problem in the Middle-east was Israel and when I asked why, he gave me a list of inequities that he claims Israel has committed against the Palestinians.
For example, he said the Israelis get five gallons of water for every gallon the Palestinians get.
I don't know if that is true or not, but if it is true, I, too, believe that is unfair.
Since I honestly wanted to understand why he believed what he believed and was looking for the gray area in which we might find agreement, I had a meaningful encounter with the gentleman.
His comments gave me something to think about and helped me see why he felt so strongly about his position.
As I left him to board my plane, I realized I felt calm, not at all filled the tension that I would have been experienced had I been determined to dismiss him as wrong - or to prove that I had a better take on the whole affair.
Trying to Avoid Pain and Suffering Is there anyone in the world who wouldn't want to be in control of his or her life? Is there anyone who wouldn't like to avoid pain? Not that I know of.
But we Americans seem to need even more control than the average person and we're more averse to pain than those who live in countries where people have not been isolated from war and conflict on their soil.
Our attempts to avoid pain and suffering arise, in part, because of the way we've been raised.
Remember the poem by William Earnest Henley? If you've forgotten it, here it is again:
I Am the Captain of My Soul Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole.These sentiments recognize the inevitability of pain, but speak of the unconquerable soul.
I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears, looms but the horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.
Today, however, we're fed clichés that by-pass the part about rising above adversity.
From every quarter we're told that if we can dream it, we can accomplish it.
Success is ours if only we seek it.
There is (or will surely be in the near future) a pill to cure every ill, whether physical, emotional, or mental, from drinking and overeating to gambling and promiscuous sex.
And it's society's fault if we break the law or cause injury to someone else.
So it's not surprising that on a recent National Public Radio program a researcher discussed the baby boomer's tendency to believe that "death is an option.
" At least many seem to act as though there must be a way to avoid being the recipient of tragedy.
As a therapist colleague of mine notes, baby boomers ask, "Who can I sue to take away my narcissistic pain? You surely don't expect ME to deal with my emotional pain MYSELF!" This isn't true of everyone, of course, but there does seem to be a tendency of many to feel that surely there must be a pill for all ills.
Even though our innocence, our sense of invulnerability, our belief that these things shouldn't happen to us, was shattered on September 11, 2001, we still carry a lingering sense of entitlement to a pain-free existence.
How does this attitude relate to the anxiety so many of us feel these days? Well, it seems to me that a large component of our angst arises from our reluctance to deal with suffering.
In fact, I wonder if a reason juries like to award large sums for "pain and suffering" might have to do with our reluctance to accept the reality that life involves pain.
We can't buy ourselves out of that reality.
Pain happens.
But the more we cling to the belief that pain shouldn't happen to us, the more we will feel anxious about the possibility, in today's uncertain world, that it may.
Furthermore, if we fight pain when we are experiencing it, we suffer more acutely than we would if we allowed the pain to simply be something we are experiencing.
Similarly, if we fight the idea that pain may at some point enter our lives, we increase our anxiety.
If we accept the reality that unpleasant things may happen, that we're not immune, we can accept that awareness into our consciousness without permitting the thought to control us.
Can Anyone Really Prepare for a Potential Disaster? We can build houses where we can get out of the rain, yet some day a hurricane can strike that is stronger than our skill at building.
We can do the best job we possibly can at work, yet still lose our job when our company closes.
We can tighten our borders, yet still experience terrorism.
When we read about the probability of terrible things happening to us, even though it may be remote, our anxiety ratchets up a few notches as we picture ourselves bloodied and torn.
The images in our minds expand until all we can see is the trauma - of something that hasn't yet happened.
It is this image that gives weight to our anxiety.
We stay stuck in that image, just as some people who actually experience such events stay stuck.
Fortunately, while we may not be able to prevent all accidents and traumatic events from intruding into our lives, we now know why some people are able to pass through such events and come out the other side without major damage to their psyche, even though their body may be scarred.
Evidence for this statement is based on a clinical study done in Israel on survivors of suicide bombings.
When blood pressure was taken in the hospital right after the event and then a short time later, some people were able to slow down their heart rate and, in effect, comfort their traumatized body.
Whether this happened because family showed up or the person simply was able to realize they had survived and could continue living, the result for the body was dramatic.
The blood pressure for others remained high.
What is fascinating is that those who could calm themselves did not later experience PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).
After the initial shock, their brains were able to accept the bombing and they could get on with their lives.
The brains of those who weren't able to reduce their stress level fairly soon after the event remained stuck in the trauma.
Years ago I heard about a farmer who worried that his house and barn would burn down.
While his family dismissed his concerns as improbable, thinking one or the other might burn, not both, he played in his mind the scenario of what would happen.
When, to his family's amazement, a fire did sweep through both buildings, he was the only one who kept his wits about him, leading the animals to safety and saving important papers from the house.
What does the study in Israel and the farmer have to do with you and your current state of anxiety? I believe it suggests that one way to reduce anxiety about such potential events is to realize that IF something were to happen - even though in all likelihood it will never happen to you, but just in case it might - have a plan for how you will deliberately calm yourself.
What you can do now, long before anything might >happen, is to have a plan.
Replace the picture you perhaps have in your mind of terrible carnage and bloodied bodies (if that happens to be an image that feeds your anxiety) with one in which you imagine yourself after such an event surrounded by family and friends.
Notice how it feels to receive support from loving connections with others.
Some of us are concerned about the possibility that even though biochemical weapons may not happen to us, they will be happening to someone else, and that feels horrible, too.
We would want to have support for that kind of emotional pain as well, so right now think of a friend you will call for comfort and support if something dreadful happens.
Have in mind a prayer you will say.
Practice a breathing technique you will use just as soon as you can.
So while we can't be 100% sure that we're able to prevent disaster, we can go a long way toward lessening the anxiety we experience in fearing it will happen by knowing you can deal with whatever happens and can calm ourselves in case our fears come true.
Source...