Who Is Boss You Or Your Children?
So who is the boss in your house? The correct answers should of course be that you are however these days the reverse is often the case. The biggest mistake that parents can make is in not showing their offspring who is in charge. Remember that you are the parents! Children are very adept at manipulation which is something you should look out for and recognize when it's happening.
Something to consider is to reduce the amount of choices you give your children. The more options that you give them is likely to deliver the outcome that you don't want!
Respect has to be demanded and given from both sides. Part of respect is you listening to them, as they often react when they feel that their story is not being taken into account.
Less Choices Equal Better Outcomes
Meal times can often be a source of constant frustration for parents. Very often this is down to offering to many options for children to eat. Something to be avoided is needing to create different meals for different members of the family. It should be one menu and all of the family eat it. This is where parents need to stand their ground and calmly tell their children that this is a family meal and to fill their tummy while they have the chance. In years gone by if you didn't eat then you went to bed hungry, simple.
Children are simple things they will eat when they get hungry! As a parent you should stay consistent and this means not filling them full of biscuits 20 minutes later if they didn't eat their tea. They will soon learn that the time to eat is when the meal was presented to them. If they genuinely are hungry later ensure you have some left-over's ready that can be heated up for them.
Another tactful way to reduce issues through too much choices is to try saying something like "okay guys lets watch abc film" rather than saying okay shall we watch film a, film b or film c. If more than one child is involved the likelihood is that you'll still be arguing 30 minutes later over exactly which film to watch!
Stand your ground when there's a tantrum around
They know how to push the buttons don't they? The dreaded tantrum tends to come along at the worst of times, like when you are doing the supermarket shopping. How many times do you see a child throwing itself on the floor because he or she can't get their own way?
Whatever you do don't give in, as you will make a rod for your own back on the future. Ignore the bad behavior and instead try to use distraction tactics to divert away from the issue.
Timeouts are another good way of handling situations where children refuse to do what you request them to do. Find an area at home that a child would find boring as I timeout area, for instance the bottom step of the stairs. When needed have the child sit on the step for 5 to 10 minutes. Explain calmly and in a low voice that tantrums are not acceptable and when they are ready to apologize and recognize what they did wrong they can leave the step.
Removing Something Precious to Them
If all else fails then the time has probably come to say that you will be removing their favorite toy until they correct their behavior and apologize. Once they have rectified the issue make sure it's returned promptly.
An Ideal World
Of course it's easy to say these things but it's much less easily to follow all of these idealistic strategies. All I can say is do your best they are a guide and eventually you will see the benefits that you and your children both deserve. Good Luck.
Something to consider is to reduce the amount of choices you give your children. The more options that you give them is likely to deliver the outcome that you don't want!
Respect has to be demanded and given from both sides. Part of respect is you listening to them, as they often react when they feel that their story is not being taken into account.
Less Choices Equal Better Outcomes
Meal times can often be a source of constant frustration for parents. Very often this is down to offering to many options for children to eat. Something to be avoided is needing to create different meals for different members of the family. It should be one menu and all of the family eat it. This is where parents need to stand their ground and calmly tell their children that this is a family meal and to fill their tummy while they have the chance. In years gone by if you didn't eat then you went to bed hungry, simple.
Children are simple things they will eat when they get hungry! As a parent you should stay consistent and this means not filling them full of biscuits 20 minutes later if they didn't eat their tea. They will soon learn that the time to eat is when the meal was presented to them. If they genuinely are hungry later ensure you have some left-over's ready that can be heated up for them.
Another tactful way to reduce issues through too much choices is to try saying something like "okay guys lets watch abc film" rather than saying okay shall we watch film a, film b or film c. If more than one child is involved the likelihood is that you'll still be arguing 30 minutes later over exactly which film to watch!
Stand your ground when there's a tantrum around
They know how to push the buttons don't they? The dreaded tantrum tends to come along at the worst of times, like when you are doing the supermarket shopping. How many times do you see a child throwing itself on the floor because he or she can't get their own way?
Whatever you do don't give in, as you will make a rod for your own back on the future. Ignore the bad behavior and instead try to use distraction tactics to divert away from the issue.
Timeouts are another good way of handling situations where children refuse to do what you request them to do. Find an area at home that a child would find boring as I timeout area, for instance the bottom step of the stairs. When needed have the child sit on the step for 5 to 10 minutes. Explain calmly and in a low voice that tantrums are not acceptable and when they are ready to apologize and recognize what they did wrong they can leave the step.
Removing Something Precious to Them
If all else fails then the time has probably come to say that you will be removing their favorite toy until they correct their behavior and apologize. Once they have rectified the issue make sure it's returned promptly.
An Ideal World
Of course it's easy to say these things but it's much less easily to follow all of these idealistic strategies. All I can say is do your best they are a guide and eventually you will see the benefits that you and your children both deserve. Good Luck.
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