Being married is some sort of confinement.
You have placed yourself in an environment freedom and authority is reduced.
And you have to chose your role.
Will you be the tyrant warden or a will-less inmate? Or something in-between? Here are four roles from prison life, and how they apply to marriage: I have chosen four roles: The Warden, The Guard, The Civilian and The Inmate.
There are of course several other roles a man can have both in prison and in a marriage, but I've narrowed it down to four to keep it simple.
Don't hesitate to comment on this posting if you find that something is wrong, odd or missing.
The warden Motto: This is my place and these are my rules Description: A warden don't have to be a tyrant, but a warden always has the last word.
If you are the warden in your marriage you may listen to your woman and care about her needs, but you make up your own mind before you make your decision - and your decision is final.
Benefits: Your word is law.
Every decision, big or small, is taken with your own needs in mind.
Disadvantages: Being the ruler is not fun in the long run.
In a relationship it's good to be challenged and to be forced to think differently.
Advice: Switch roles with your subordinate regularly.
Include her in the government of your relationship and urge her to participate in making big decisions.
The guard Motto: I'm not making the rules - I just follow them Description: This is the loyal subordinate that is crucial to every prison.
The warden depends on good guards.
The same way your ruling woman depends on you, if you are the guard in your marriage.
Guards often have an influence on the warden's decisions too, but accept that they don't have the final say in important matters.
Benefits: You don't have to participate in everyday planning and daily decisions.
Instead you can focus on moneymaking, protection of your family and other things you care about.
Disadvantages: If you leave important decisions to your wife, you are not guaranteed that your life is moving in the direction you want it to.
Advice: Work closely with the warden, especially on big decisions.
Temp for her often, and do influence her in any way you can to make decisions that comes out in your favor.
The civilian Motto: Don't look at me - I just work here Description: Being the civilian can be good in a prison.
You don't have to take tough decisions or face real problems.
You just do your work and leave at four.
If you are the civilian in a marriage, you are somewhat detached.
It's not that you don't care, you just want to stick to your own tasks.
Benefits: You have a lot of freedom and few worries, as you can focus only on your own chores and interests.
Disadvantages: You may detach yourself to a point where you're no longer an important member of your relationship.
In a relationship it's not enough to be a good handyman.
Advice: Assume responsibilities and have an opinion when important decisions are made.
Behave more like a guard and temp for the warden from time to time.
The inmate Motto: Don't tell me what to do Description: In a prison, the inmate is placed with force.
So there's a natural hostility and detachment.
If you're the inmate in a marriage, however, you have volunteered to be there.
Still, if you are the inmate, you feel that your freedom is limited more that you agreed on.
You may accept the conditions, but feel that life is somewhere else.
Benefits: None Disadvantages: I don't have to tell you that being the inmate in a marriage is bad.
It's very bad.
These are guys who have a nagging need to break out.
If they can't, or are afraid to, they might hurt someone.
Advice: If you feel like an inmate, I urge you: apply for a paid position immediately! In other words; do what it takes to adapt to a different role.