A lot of couples are faced with a common problem - they do not seem to know that their marriage is over till they receive a lawyer's notice! Now, this is slightly implausible, as a growing imbalance in the relationship between two people sharing the same bed should be apparent through more ways than one.
When your marriage is over, you really do not need a third person to tell you that it is time to move out.
You know it as you can see it in the eyes and actions of your spouse.
However, it seems that things may not be that simple.
Some people are experts in hiding their true feelings and can manage to carry on with the show, even if they are emotionally far removed from it.
If you happen to live with a partner, whose emotions are difficult to read, you too may not know when your marriage is over.
However, if you are alert and sensitive to every move, glance and action of your partner and watch him or her closely, you would get the early signals of trouble brewing in the marriage.
If the marriage is founded on true love and respect for each other, you can notice the change in behaviors and attitudes, no matter how subtle they are.
Of course, it takes time to come to a final conclusion regarding when your marriage is over, but the sooner you catch the early signals, the better for you, if you want to save the marriage, that is.
A few of the early signs of a troubled relationship include: minimal or no communication; irritability at each other; ignoring personal needs; non-compliance to domestic routines; rapid deterioration of the quality and quantity of time spent with each other and so on.
But one of the very subtle signs, which normally go unnoticed when your marriage is over, is when both of you, unknowingly or unintentionally, live more as competitors than friends or lovers.
Both of you are at your obstinate best, relentlessly holding on to your stance.
You know when your marriage is over when both of you are competing against rather than complementing each other.
The issues could be related to money, commitment towards each other, kids and the home, duties and responsibilities, public recognition, etc.
But at the end of the day, both of you are busy trying to prove a point and never congratulating your partner for a job well done.
This can have a detrimental effect on the marriage after some time as factors like envy, jealousy and even hatred rules and love evaporates.