Being an adult child of divorce is a part of my life. I accept it because I have no other choice. Yet, I do not agree with it. My parents were married eight years before they divorced. I was seven. In their case, it was for the best.  My parents were way too different to really be stuck in a bad marriage together, but they did what they could. My father was and is a great provider and my mom is a strong, dedicated woman, but when they reached the point of no return, things had to come to an end.

            

It never hurt me. At first, it was confusing, and a pain in the butt to have to go to my dad’s every weekend when I was so used to him just being at home.

New environment, new emotions, it took some adjusting but I adjusted.

As you get older, when you're parents’ divorce...It's a little harder. I think when you're an adult, or in your late teens, you are mature enough to accept people into your life by choice, you judge their character and form opinions; when you're young everything is innate. You're born loving you're mother and father, regardless of who they are and what they've done. But once they've split, it's really something you don't want to see happen more than once.

My mother got married not too long after her and my father split and I got a new stepfather. He was nice, caring, funny, more outgoing and upbeat than my own father, but there was always something off about him. Moving into a bachelor pad with my mom and sister and Charlie, my step-dad, took more adjusting, but then it was like I had a family again with two new sisters to come along later.

And that's when I started to see my real dad less and less.

Thirteen years later, my mom and step-dad divorced. Their divorce was a million times more painful than my mom and dad’s divorce. I don't know if it was because I got to know him in a different way, or maybe it was because I lived in the same house with my step-dad the majority of my life, but it was and is still excruciating for me to even think that my step-dad left me, my sisters, and my mom.

He was aware of how my parent’s divorce affected me and my little sister but he had the gall to do it to his own two daughters. And he cheated on my mom and left us. Left us for another woman. My dad didn't leave us; my mom threw in the towel and said enough is enough because of his drinking. I don't know what's worse, adultery or alcoholism?

Below are 5 ways divorce affected me from the age of 7 to 20.

1. It left me feeling unloved, unappreciated, unheard, voiceless, angry, and pained.

2. I feel appalled and sickened by my stepfather’s behavior. It doesn’t make sense to me!

3. It's a life experience, and it's made me the person I am today and who I will be in the future,         which almost makes me okay with both divorces I've witnessed. They weren’t easy but I’ve learned that I can survive that kind of pain and adversity.

4. Two parental divorces has left me with a lot of rage, a lot of trust issues, a lot of guilt, and a lot of emotional stress. I have learned to deal with the frustration of not being able to say what I want to say to both my dad and step-dad. And I’ve accept them and the choices they made, but I hope to God that I never make the same mistakes they did.

5. It's made me feel really distant from the true meaning of family, because every time I thought I had one, it broke apart like a piece of paper in rapid water.

Overall, divorce is part of life, part of my life anyway. I think people should accept it and stop wasting their time trying to fix their family, then again, maybe people should put more time into trying to fix their family?

I’ve noticed that kids never, ever have a say in whether or not their parents get a divorce. We have absolutely no control. Parents put it on us with no input from us. They marry, have children, those children are born into a family that will one day fall apart because two adults can’t work out their problems. Does that make divorce and its impact on children OK?

Listen, if you're going to get a divorce, try to do it before you're kids are born? If you can’t do that, put a lot of thought into divorce; take it seriously, after you bring children into the world. Maybe take some time apart for couple of days, get some space, see a counselor and try to develop better relationship skills. But don’t throw our lives away because you’re unhappy with your life. That's how divorce has affected me; it's made me bitter, way too honest, sarcastic, impatient and intolerant of people who hurt their children.