Fixing A Broken Relationship
Saving a broken relationship or starting over after breaking up is never easy for anyone. Sometimes it's possible to fix the relationship just by having the right conversations that you avoided before. The missed opportunities of words that were never spoken can sometimes have a healing effect if just given a second chance. Other times, you may need professional help in order to overcome the struggling. A neutral third party can really help your partner to see you in a different light and vice versa. No matter whether it's a short term relationship, or long term marriage, there are always steps you can take to have a second chance.
First of all it's important to figure out if the relationship is worth saving. If you are clinging together only because of dependency or fear of being alone, then perhaps it shouldn't be saved at all. However when two people truly bring out the best in each other and enhance each other's happiness, then getting back together can be an opportunity to have an even stronger bond the second time around.
Most of the time couples just assume that their relationship has simply run its course or "lost its spark". They assume that it's just not possible to have the same feelings when they first met. However, there are always root causes for stale relationships and unresolved arguments. Without finding the root cause of what's really going on, it's impossible to fix the broken pieces. Without learning lessons, all the old patterns will just keep repeating themselves.
Some situations might be pretty hard to forgive and forget. Especially in the case of infidelity. However, having an affair is only a symptom of what was really wrong in the first place. Here again, there is a root cause for everything that cannot be ignored.
It's important to remain calm and rational. When couples are experiencing conflicts, the hurt and anger swirling around can lead to words that you might regret. Make sure you give encouragement and permission for your partner to speak their feelings fully. Sometimes the other person just needs to be heard in order to feel validated.
Remember that although you are two unique individuals and probably different in many ways, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are incompatible. Sometimes differences can be complementary and even necessary to balance each other out. Accepting these differences instead of trying to change each other can make a huge shift in any relationship.
Of course, it will take both people to take responsibility for each of their share of the relationship issues. It's impossible to learn any of life's lessons by playing the "innocent victim". There's no room for both love and pride to be in your heart at the same time. Dr Phil has a good point when he says "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be loved?"
First of all it's important to figure out if the relationship is worth saving. If you are clinging together only because of dependency or fear of being alone, then perhaps it shouldn't be saved at all. However when two people truly bring out the best in each other and enhance each other's happiness, then getting back together can be an opportunity to have an even stronger bond the second time around.
Most of the time couples just assume that their relationship has simply run its course or "lost its spark". They assume that it's just not possible to have the same feelings when they first met. However, there are always root causes for stale relationships and unresolved arguments. Without finding the root cause of what's really going on, it's impossible to fix the broken pieces. Without learning lessons, all the old patterns will just keep repeating themselves.
Some situations might be pretty hard to forgive and forget. Especially in the case of infidelity. However, having an affair is only a symptom of what was really wrong in the first place. Here again, there is a root cause for everything that cannot be ignored.
It's important to remain calm and rational. When couples are experiencing conflicts, the hurt and anger swirling around can lead to words that you might regret. Make sure you give encouragement and permission for your partner to speak their feelings fully. Sometimes the other person just needs to be heard in order to feel validated.
Remember that although you are two unique individuals and probably different in many ways, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are incompatible. Sometimes differences can be complementary and even necessary to balance each other out. Accepting these differences instead of trying to change each other can make a huge shift in any relationship.
Of course, it will take both people to take responsibility for each of their share of the relationship issues. It's impossible to learn any of life's lessons by playing the "innocent victim". There's no room for both love and pride to be in your heart at the same time. Dr Phil has a good point when he says "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be loved?"
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