How He Proposed
When you learn, teach.
When you get, give.
" - Maya Angelou You may have heard the saying that people often teach what they have to learn for themselves and indeed my best teachers are the ones who have learned in their own experience that which they are teaching.
Theoretical professors have never impressed me.
And in the same vein, as I have been teaching the path of Being the Beloved, I've found that I often learn something profound that is relevant not only to me but to those who I assist.
You can call this the law of attraction or in psychic terms this can be called "matching pictures".
When I work intuitively with clients, I'll often attract clients that have similar experiences so that I can be of true service to them.
In the last few years, my relationship with my Beloved has been fulfilling beyond words.
He has had insight into my deepest aspects of self, supported my most illumined path, not to mention help heal childhood wounds.
Our time together has been filled with magical experiences that I would never have been able to imagine.
We've had moments where the entire universe sung to us in celebration.
We've taken walks where the sunset and clouds formed a gigantic heart that followed us as we strolled as well been guided to a beach during a pink and gold sunset to witness a private show of hundreds and hundreds of dolphins leaping for joy.
And yet, after a year and half into our relationship, old commitment triggers surfaced for both of us.
As it turns out, astrologically speaking when it comes to love, we both need a lot of freedom and to feel that other person is willing to work on the relationship.
So interestingly enough, to fulfill this contract, after a year and a half into our relationship I started to feel stifled and he started to feel that he was losing himself in merging.
I knew that this trigger was something old because in my family, I had grown up with two difficult messages 1.
That you had to be married in order to survive.
2.
Marriage was a prison.
And I had already done much work to reach a place in my life where I could survive on my own as well attract men who were truly supportive of me.
"Marriage" however had a vibration of doom, gloom and inevitability.
So whenever Drew and I would head towards marriage I'd start to feel shut down and compromised, even as I felt a kamakazi-esque drive to steer us in that direction.
Drew, who had been married previously, had come to the conclusion that marriage was expensive, painful and stifled his creativity.
He was honest from the get go that he was interested in a long term relationship but marriage had left a bad taste in his mouth.
So, it wasn't surprising then that in October of last year, when we took a weekend trip down to Big Sur to vision our future, Drew got an intuitive hit that our paths were separating.
Shocked as I was emotionally, spiritually I wasn't surprised.
I had made a request to the universe the previous week that I was ready to do whatever it took to make sure I was back on track creatively and to regain a sense of freedom in my life.
I had performed a powerful meditation technique with my friend Jacquelyn Aldana just a few days before this moment on a beach in Big Sur.
So that day, Drew headed down South and landed in Santa Barbara and I went home and found myself liberated for the first time in a long time to pursue my writing.
We were both befuddled as we wondered if there was a matching belief that it was easier to be creative on our own than in relationship as there was no question how much we adored on another.
We came back together in a week, and decided to try and see if it was just distance that we needed, and as we did this dance of trying to discover what it was that was pulling us apart, we grew a deep respect for each other's process.
However, in late February of this year, it was evident that the old patterns that clouded our beliefs were not going to go away without some other fundamental shift.
Drew again felt pulled away from the concept of commitment that loomed before us and so I suggested that we do a Separation Ceremony.
Drew, however insisted it be called a Completion Ceremony.
His intuition was accurate as we were not trying to separate from the love we had created but rather to complete the patterns that held us back from experiencing the relationship we wanted.
(Whether it is with each other or with another).
And so we met half way, serendipitously exactly equidistant from one another in Cambria at Moonstone beach bringing with us the following: 1.
A list of all the magical experiences we loved about our relationship 2.
A list of all that we were ready to release from being in relationships.
3.
Our personal vows to ourselves 4.
What growth we had seen in one another through having touched one another's lives.
The day was exquisite.
We found a private bench that had a view of the entire sparkling blue ocean.
It felt like a place not unlike heaven, where we were our highest selves speaking to one another from our highest intentions.
We spoke out all the different aspects and burned the list of what we wanted to release.
As the ashes of the paper blew into the wind, we both felt a ripple of energy flow out into the universe.
When we completed, we parted ways, me going North and him going South.
As I drove north on Highway 1 through Big Sur, tears would flow intermittently, the sense of loss, and stillness that comes when the mystery of life is beyond what the mind can comprehend.
But the breathtaking landscape silenced all thought and I was not surprised to discover later that night on the phone that Drew agreed that this day would go down in history as was one of the most beautiful in his life as well.
Through the next few weeks I felt a mixture of relief, expansion, grief and elation.
I have learned throughout my life that if something is being removed, it's often because something better wants to come in.
Or rather, that if I hold this intention, this is exactly what happens.
And as my relationship with Drew had always held such beauty and love I could only imagine what would unfold would simply enable me to be yet a fuller expression of self.
As with Drew, he started seeing a healer who used the Diamond Heart Method.
And over the course of two weeks would recount incredible stories of healing.
He discovered that he had a pattern in relationship where he would lose his identity and then feel the need to leave the relationship in order to regain himself.
We were still each other's best friends and of course it made me wonder if we would get back together.
It didn't help that as an intuitive, I would try to sneak behind the curtain whenever I could and see into the future.
But each time I did, I would get a powerful almost cosmic slap on the hand, and the message to SURRENDER, to continue to focus on my joy and to LET GO! And I did.
I let go of Drew completely, releasing him to his highest version of self, and I to mine.
I reveled in dreams of being fully creative and fulfilled in relationship, and more importantly enjoying a feeling of lightness, of passion and of support that had a gentle touch as well as a powerful foundation.
Intuitive friends and even Drew started to see a figure next to me of my future partner.
Drew even felt the shining light from his eyes.
In these meditations in the mornings, I marveled at the expansiveness of the vision I had of my future self.
I would smile and tear with intense gratitude at how Drew had helped to bring me to this space when I couldn't imagine that it could get much better.
My only request to Drew was that we film an interview of the two of us, speaking about our completion ceremony.
It was such a profoundly medicinal experience for us that I knew that there was medicine in that act and ritual for many.
We had kept in touch for these 3 weeks after our ceremony, and the day of the interview when Drew appeared at my door, he walked in, lit up from within like the sun.
My mouth literally dropped open and I burst into tears.
It was as if he had walked in as pure light.
I was both joyful for him and perplexed for us but remained open.
When my friend sat us down for the interview, she also looked confused at our sparkling demeanor.
And as we spoke of our completion ceremony in glowing terms, she tried to ask questions that would reveal the pain that we had gone through.
But the truth was that our journey had been one of liberation and healing.
At the very end of the interview, Drew said, "I have one more thing to add.
" I turned to look at him.
He then spoke to me directly, and told me that through this experience he had never loved me more, that it was how I handled this transition, this completion without ever going into "blame or shame", with the highest vision and love in place that allowed him to see his own patterns, shadows and allowed him to do his own healing.
And that he could not imagine another life partner, and would I be interested in continuing a relationship where he was 100% on board.
I sat there looking at my friend and did one of those double takes, "What?!!!" I thought to myself.
And then a burst of emotion and tears and me saying "CUT!" (Luckily my friend didn't cut.
) I have yet to look at the tape and will at some point release it for its medicinal and I'm sure entertaining purposes.
What a denouement! Drew has a flare for storytelling himself, I should have known.
Turns out he had made this decision for a few weeks but wanted to make sure that we recorded the information about the Completion Ceremony first.
I was in shock the whole day, and that night he told me "I get that the man with those shining eyes is me.
" I nodded yes and that evening was woken up by a glow of golden and pink light that surrounded us.
I touched him and whispered, "do you feel that?" And he whispered back, "yes.
" In the past month, the unfolding of our relationship has reached a new spiral of expansion, of flow unlike that which I've ever experienced.
There is an ease and lightness as well as the powerful foundation that I envisioned.
And I realized that the power behind our foundation has everything to do with this experience that we have undergone.
It is a daily revelation.
And per Drew's flash of insight, we will be having our Beloved Ceremony Valentine's Day 2009.
( To be continued ; ) May our story bring joy and peace to your heart.
All my love, Bella Shing
When you get, give.
" - Maya Angelou You may have heard the saying that people often teach what they have to learn for themselves and indeed my best teachers are the ones who have learned in their own experience that which they are teaching.
Theoretical professors have never impressed me.
And in the same vein, as I have been teaching the path of Being the Beloved, I've found that I often learn something profound that is relevant not only to me but to those who I assist.
You can call this the law of attraction or in psychic terms this can be called "matching pictures".
When I work intuitively with clients, I'll often attract clients that have similar experiences so that I can be of true service to them.
In the last few years, my relationship with my Beloved has been fulfilling beyond words.
He has had insight into my deepest aspects of self, supported my most illumined path, not to mention help heal childhood wounds.
Our time together has been filled with magical experiences that I would never have been able to imagine.
We've had moments where the entire universe sung to us in celebration.
We've taken walks where the sunset and clouds formed a gigantic heart that followed us as we strolled as well been guided to a beach during a pink and gold sunset to witness a private show of hundreds and hundreds of dolphins leaping for joy.
And yet, after a year and half into our relationship, old commitment triggers surfaced for both of us.
As it turns out, astrologically speaking when it comes to love, we both need a lot of freedom and to feel that other person is willing to work on the relationship.
So interestingly enough, to fulfill this contract, after a year and a half into our relationship I started to feel stifled and he started to feel that he was losing himself in merging.
I knew that this trigger was something old because in my family, I had grown up with two difficult messages 1.
That you had to be married in order to survive.
2.
Marriage was a prison.
And I had already done much work to reach a place in my life where I could survive on my own as well attract men who were truly supportive of me.
"Marriage" however had a vibration of doom, gloom and inevitability.
So whenever Drew and I would head towards marriage I'd start to feel shut down and compromised, even as I felt a kamakazi-esque drive to steer us in that direction.
Drew, who had been married previously, had come to the conclusion that marriage was expensive, painful and stifled his creativity.
He was honest from the get go that he was interested in a long term relationship but marriage had left a bad taste in his mouth.
So, it wasn't surprising then that in October of last year, when we took a weekend trip down to Big Sur to vision our future, Drew got an intuitive hit that our paths were separating.
Shocked as I was emotionally, spiritually I wasn't surprised.
I had made a request to the universe the previous week that I was ready to do whatever it took to make sure I was back on track creatively and to regain a sense of freedom in my life.
I had performed a powerful meditation technique with my friend Jacquelyn Aldana just a few days before this moment on a beach in Big Sur.
So that day, Drew headed down South and landed in Santa Barbara and I went home and found myself liberated for the first time in a long time to pursue my writing.
We were both befuddled as we wondered if there was a matching belief that it was easier to be creative on our own than in relationship as there was no question how much we adored on another.
We came back together in a week, and decided to try and see if it was just distance that we needed, and as we did this dance of trying to discover what it was that was pulling us apart, we grew a deep respect for each other's process.
However, in late February of this year, it was evident that the old patterns that clouded our beliefs were not going to go away without some other fundamental shift.
Drew again felt pulled away from the concept of commitment that loomed before us and so I suggested that we do a Separation Ceremony.
Drew, however insisted it be called a Completion Ceremony.
His intuition was accurate as we were not trying to separate from the love we had created but rather to complete the patterns that held us back from experiencing the relationship we wanted.
(Whether it is with each other or with another).
And so we met half way, serendipitously exactly equidistant from one another in Cambria at Moonstone beach bringing with us the following: 1.
A list of all the magical experiences we loved about our relationship 2.
A list of all that we were ready to release from being in relationships.
3.
Our personal vows to ourselves 4.
What growth we had seen in one another through having touched one another's lives.
The day was exquisite.
We found a private bench that had a view of the entire sparkling blue ocean.
It felt like a place not unlike heaven, where we were our highest selves speaking to one another from our highest intentions.
We spoke out all the different aspects and burned the list of what we wanted to release.
As the ashes of the paper blew into the wind, we both felt a ripple of energy flow out into the universe.
When we completed, we parted ways, me going North and him going South.
As I drove north on Highway 1 through Big Sur, tears would flow intermittently, the sense of loss, and stillness that comes when the mystery of life is beyond what the mind can comprehend.
But the breathtaking landscape silenced all thought and I was not surprised to discover later that night on the phone that Drew agreed that this day would go down in history as was one of the most beautiful in his life as well.
Through the next few weeks I felt a mixture of relief, expansion, grief and elation.
I have learned throughout my life that if something is being removed, it's often because something better wants to come in.
Or rather, that if I hold this intention, this is exactly what happens.
And as my relationship with Drew had always held such beauty and love I could only imagine what would unfold would simply enable me to be yet a fuller expression of self.
As with Drew, he started seeing a healer who used the Diamond Heart Method.
And over the course of two weeks would recount incredible stories of healing.
He discovered that he had a pattern in relationship where he would lose his identity and then feel the need to leave the relationship in order to regain himself.
We were still each other's best friends and of course it made me wonder if we would get back together.
It didn't help that as an intuitive, I would try to sneak behind the curtain whenever I could and see into the future.
But each time I did, I would get a powerful almost cosmic slap on the hand, and the message to SURRENDER, to continue to focus on my joy and to LET GO! And I did.
I let go of Drew completely, releasing him to his highest version of self, and I to mine.
I reveled in dreams of being fully creative and fulfilled in relationship, and more importantly enjoying a feeling of lightness, of passion and of support that had a gentle touch as well as a powerful foundation.
Intuitive friends and even Drew started to see a figure next to me of my future partner.
Drew even felt the shining light from his eyes.
In these meditations in the mornings, I marveled at the expansiveness of the vision I had of my future self.
I would smile and tear with intense gratitude at how Drew had helped to bring me to this space when I couldn't imagine that it could get much better.
My only request to Drew was that we film an interview of the two of us, speaking about our completion ceremony.
It was such a profoundly medicinal experience for us that I knew that there was medicine in that act and ritual for many.
We had kept in touch for these 3 weeks after our ceremony, and the day of the interview when Drew appeared at my door, he walked in, lit up from within like the sun.
My mouth literally dropped open and I burst into tears.
It was as if he had walked in as pure light.
I was both joyful for him and perplexed for us but remained open.
When my friend sat us down for the interview, she also looked confused at our sparkling demeanor.
And as we spoke of our completion ceremony in glowing terms, she tried to ask questions that would reveal the pain that we had gone through.
But the truth was that our journey had been one of liberation and healing.
At the very end of the interview, Drew said, "I have one more thing to add.
" I turned to look at him.
He then spoke to me directly, and told me that through this experience he had never loved me more, that it was how I handled this transition, this completion without ever going into "blame or shame", with the highest vision and love in place that allowed him to see his own patterns, shadows and allowed him to do his own healing.
And that he could not imagine another life partner, and would I be interested in continuing a relationship where he was 100% on board.
I sat there looking at my friend and did one of those double takes, "What?!!!" I thought to myself.
And then a burst of emotion and tears and me saying "CUT!" (Luckily my friend didn't cut.
) I have yet to look at the tape and will at some point release it for its medicinal and I'm sure entertaining purposes.
What a denouement! Drew has a flare for storytelling himself, I should have known.
Turns out he had made this decision for a few weeks but wanted to make sure that we recorded the information about the Completion Ceremony first.
I was in shock the whole day, and that night he told me "I get that the man with those shining eyes is me.
" I nodded yes and that evening was woken up by a glow of golden and pink light that surrounded us.
I touched him and whispered, "do you feel that?" And he whispered back, "yes.
" In the past month, the unfolding of our relationship has reached a new spiral of expansion, of flow unlike that which I've ever experienced.
There is an ease and lightness as well as the powerful foundation that I envisioned.
And I realized that the power behind our foundation has everything to do with this experience that we have undergone.
It is a daily revelation.
And per Drew's flash of insight, we will be having our Beloved Ceremony Valentine's Day 2009.
( To be continued ; ) May our story bring joy and peace to your heart.
All my love, Bella Shing
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