Burnt Chestnuts and Other Things That WILL Go Wrong This Thanksgiving
1.
Despite the occasion...
you somehow give off the impression that you're ungrateful.
Thanksgiving is the one day out of the year you should act more gracious than ever.
Why? Because it's on everyone's radar.
So you should take steps to be as nice as possible.
Try sending the host a thank you card...
or even a small gift, as appreciation for the huge show they put on.
2.
You worry too much about your appearance.
Dress nice...
but don't run into the bathroom to do your hair or touch up your lipstick.
Remember, it's an EATING holiday.
Focusing on your looks will just come off as vain.
3.
You get annoyed.
Yep, Uncle Jim's raving about the democrats.
Mom and the in-laws are at it again about religion.
Don't get enmeshed ..
...
taking a little space is not only acceptable, it actually seems MATURE.
Get up and help straighten in the kitchen.
Take a walk outside and comment about the garden.
Go horse around with one of the kids.
The more active you are, the more energy you call to yourself...
and the happier you'll be.
4.
You bring something uncooked.
You would be amazed at how many people show up with an unbaked "fresh" Lasagna.
If it can't be microwaved, don't bring it.
Unless your family owns 5 industrial size ovens...
there won't be room! 5.
You're a vegan.
There's no way around this.
Vegans are not loved on Thanksgiving.
Your relatives will not forgive you for voluntarily stepping down the food chain and setting back years of evolution.
Make up for it by gently letting the host know waaay ahead of time.
And coming with 1 or 2 of the BEST vegan dishes you ever had the pleasure to create.
That way when someone tries it they'll say "mmm I can't believe it's vegan!" And remember, chestnut-based foods can be a great vegan alternative.
6.
You burn the chestnuts.
That's right...
it happens every year.
Make sure you cut small slits into them before you roast, and that you use a proper Chestnut roaster! 7.
Your college-age niece brings an "unexpected guest.
" Sure, one looks tells you their eternal love will endure just past the next mid-term, but give him a warm welcome.
You're better off showing love and respect to this mopey, Birkenstock-wearing philosophy major.
After all, who's the real jerk if you don't? 8.
One of your dishes evaporates before it makes it all the way around the table.
You know which dish this is too...
Every year, there's something exceptionally tasty, and (for some reason) made in very small batches.
Every chef can figure what it is intuitively.
Plan ahead of time.
And make two bowls- one for each end of the table.
Despite the occasion...
you somehow give off the impression that you're ungrateful.
Thanksgiving is the one day out of the year you should act more gracious than ever.
Why? Because it's on everyone's radar.
So you should take steps to be as nice as possible.
Try sending the host a thank you card...
or even a small gift, as appreciation for the huge show they put on.
2.
You worry too much about your appearance.
Dress nice...
but don't run into the bathroom to do your hair or touch up your lipstick.
Remember, it's an EATING holiday.
Focusing on your looks will just come off as vain.
3.
You get annoyed.
Yep, Uncle Jim's raving about the democrats.
Mom and the in-laws are at it again about religion.
Don't get enmeshed ..
...
taking a little space is not only acceptable, it actually seems MATURE.
Get up and help straighten in the kitchen.
Take a walk outside and comment about the garden.
Go horse around with one of the kids.
The more active you are, the more energy you call to yourself...
and the happier you'll be.
4.
You bring something uncooked.
You would be amazed at how many people show up with an unbaked "fresh" Lasagna.
If it can't be microwaved, don't bring it.
Unless your family owns 5 industrial size ovens...
there won't be room! 5.
You're a vegan.
There's no way around this.
Vegans are not loved on Thanksgiving.
Your relatives will not forgive you for voluntarily stepping down the food chain and setting back years of evolution.
Make up for it by gently letting the host know waaay ahead of time.
And coming with 1 or 2 of the BEST vegan dishes you ever had the pleasure to create.
That way when someone tries it they'll say "mmm I can't believe it's vegan!" And remember, chestnut-based foods can be a great vegan alternative.
6.
You burn the chestnuts.
That's right...
it happens every year.
Make sure you cut small slits into them before you roast, and that you use a proper Chestnut roaster! 7.
Your college-age niece brings an "unexpected guest.
" Sure, one looks tells you their eternal love will endure just past the next mid-term, but give him a warm welcome.
You're better off showing love and respect to this mopey, Birkenstock-wearing philosophy major.
After all, who's the real jerk if you don't? 8.
One of your dishes evaporates before it makes it all the way around the table.
You know which dish this is too...
Every year, there's something exceptionally tasty, and (for some reason) made in very small batches.
Every chef can figure what it is intuitively.
Plan ahead of time.
And make two bowls- one for each end of the table.
Source...