The Main Cause of Depression
Last week, I went to the doctor.
It was the first time I went to him.
In Quebec, it is very difficult to find a family doctor and mine was going to be retired so I decided to find another one.
I woke up at 4 this morning.
I tried to fall asleep again but I never was able.
I also was at 120 km from the office as the day before, I worked at a client's office in another town...
and a snow storm began so I decided then to sleep there at a friend's home.
I was very tired when I arrived at the doc's office.
My emotions have also been up and down for a while.
For months, in fact.
I have cried a little in the doc's office.
I told him that I am upset and afraid about going back to work.
I just want to stay home with nobody asking me anything.
That is exactly how I feel even I did not go to him for that.
I was general manager till Feb.
15th.
Two years holding an enterprise on my shoulders even if it is not mine.
Two years to give my 200 % every day with all my heart.
Two years also fighting with the boss who is an artist and far from being a manager.
I am fed up, exhausted, I just need peace in my life.
I just need time for me.
My body and my brain are tired.
My spirit is quite good though.
The Doc gave me a prescription for a box of nice pink "candies" (antidepressant) with a paper telling that I am not good to go back to work for one month.
He also prescribed me to go to see other specialists for some other little symptoms.
I came back home after having gone to the pharmacy to get the "candies".
I asked to get them for one month only.
I know that I usually do not need more: I have a "seasonal depression" the doc said as I have these symptoms every year at this time.
It seems that it is a little difficult for me to emerge from the long Quebec winter.
In alternative medicine, depression is explained as a boiling pot in which we put all our emotions we do not express, consciously or not.
One day, the pot is too full, too hot, and the lid explodes, creating a "depression".
All the repressed emotions spurt out and the person is now in front of them, even buried under them.
Too heavy, the person gets down.
As depression is quite well known in my life, I have searched a long time before finding causes and reasons to this temporary time in a life.
My conclusion is that we fall in depression when we give more and more our power to other people, forgetting ourselves, our desires and needs to be happy.
Good nutrition and exercises also help to get out of depression.
When I realised that, I have been able to watch the next times when I was going back down to depression.
I wondered then where/why/when/if I was not listening to MY needs and desires instead of just answering to all demands from other persons.
I found then the causes of my depression: I had forgotten ME.
I had given MY power to others.
I had lost confidence in me and acted as I needed to be loved by making nice things for others.
This is not the way to be happy.
We FIRST need to Love ourselves to be happy.
Of course, to be loved by others helps us to feel this Love but how can we feel Love from other people if we do not first feel the Love in us? When I was a young adult, I have been wanting to be loved for many years.
During all these years, I have been loved but I did not feel it so I have lost my lovers (with heavy heartbreaks of course) and felt that nobody loved me...
the way I wanted to be loved.
How could I know the way I wanted to be loved as I did not feel it in me? I have been in depression for long years before beginning to Love myself through many therapies, till I understood that I had TO LIVE FOR MYSELF FIRST, not for/after all the persons who wanted me to help them.
I had to put and live nice things for me and, the first of all, to decide and affirm my needs.
My depression has gone from this time and I am now much happier every day of my wonderful Life.
So, why a seasonal depression? you ask me.
It is just a couple of months every end of winter.
Could be some reasons as the lack of exercise (I am mostly like a bear in winter!), my nutrition, some solitude.
I also have given a lot during the last two years.
I have forgotten myself.
I have fought to hold a company not to go bankrupt.
Winter is cold and long.
I have no family, no lover, no kids.
Anyway, there are justifications.
In fact, I don't know what I want to do in my life now, as in my professional life so I welcome me in this nowhere without deciding anything.
The only thing I have decided is to dedicate myself to ME, to my health, body, mind and soul.
I know it is just a temporary (little) depressing time and I have to look after ME.
I feel Joy in my heart every day and I thank God with gratitude for the nice Life and wonderful friends I have and to now be able to say NO to things I don't want...
I am the most important person for me in my Life.
Are you? Dominique
It was the first time I went to him.
In Quebec, it is very difficult to find a family doctor and mine was going to be retired so I decided to find another one.
I woke up at 4 this morning.
I tried to fall asleep again but I never was able.
I also was at 120 km from the office as the day before, I worked at a client's office in another town...
and a snow storm began so I decided then to sleep there at a friend's home.
I was very tired when I arrived at the doc's office.
My emotions have also been up and down for a while.
For months, in fact.
I have cried a little in the doc's office.
I told him that I am upset and afraid about going back to work.
I just want to stay home with nobody asking me anything.
That is exactly how I feel even I did not go to him for that.
I was general manager till Feb.
15th.
Two years holding an enterprise on my shoulders even if it is not mine.
Two years to give my 200 % every day with all my heart.
Two years also fighting with the boss who is an artist and far from being a manager.
I am fed up, exhausted, I just need peace in my life.
I just need time for me.
My body and my brain are tired.
My spirit is quite good though.
The Doc gave me a prescription for a box of nice pink "candies" (antidepressant) with a paper telling that I am not good to go back to work for one month.
He also prescribed me to go to see other specialists for some other little symptoms.
I came back home after having gone to the pharmacy to get the "candies".
I asked to get them for one month only.
I know that I usually do not need more: I have a "seasonal depression" the doc said as I have these symptoms every year at this time.
It seems that it is a little difficult for me to emerge from the long Quebec winter.
In alternative medicine, depression is explained as a boiling pot in which we put all our emotions we do not express, consciously or not.
One day, the pot is too full, too hot, and the lid explodes, creating a "depression".
All the repressed emotions spurt out and the person is now in front of them, even buried under them.
Too heavy, the person gets down.
As depression is quite well known in my life, I have searched a long time before finding causes and reasons to this temporary time in a life.
My conclusion is that we fall in depression when we give more and more our power to other people, forgetting ourselves, our desires and needs to be happy.
Good nutrition and exercises also help to get out of depression.
When I realised that, I have been able to watch the next times when I was going back down to depression.
I wondered then where/why/when/if I was not listening to MY needs and desires instead of just answering to all demands from other persons.
I found then the causes of my depression: I had forgotten ME.
I had given MY power to others.
I had lost confidence in me and acted as I needed to be loved by making nice things for others.
This is not the way to be happy.
We FIRST need to Love ourselves to be happy.
Of course, to be loved by others helps us to feel this Love but how can we feel Love from other people if we do not first feel the Love in us? When I was a young adult, I have been wanting to be loved for many years.
During all these years, I have been loved but I did not feel it so I have lost my lovers (with heavy heartbreaks of course) and felt that nobody loved me...
the way I wanted to be loved.
How could I know the way I wanted to be loved as I did not feel it in me? I have been in depression for long years before beginning to Love myself through many therapies, till I understood that I had TO LIVE FOR MYSELF FIRST, not for/after all the persons who wanted me to help them.
I had to put and live nice things for me and, the first of all, to decide and affirm my needs.
My depression has gone from this time and I am now much happier every day of my wonderful Life.
So, why a seasonal depression? you ask me.
It is just a couple of months every end of winter.
Could be some reasons as the lack of exercise (I am mostly like a bear in winter!), my nutrition, some solitude.
I also have given a lot during the last two years.
I have forgotten myself.
I have fought to hold a company not to go bankrupt.
Winter is cold and long.
I have no family, no lover, no kids.
Anyway, there are justifications.
In fact, I don't know what I want to do in my life now, as in my professional life so I welcome me in this nowhere without deciding anything.
The only thing I have decided is to dedicate myself to ME, to my health, body, mind and soul.
I know it is just a temporary (little) depressing time and I have to look after ME.
I feel Joy in my heart every day and I thank God with gratitude for the nice Life and wonderful friends I have and to now be able to say NO to things I don't want...
I am the most important person for me in my Life.
Are you? Dominique
Source...