Over the last week, I've received calls and messages from clients and friends regarding the recent Amtrak train derailment in Philadelphia.
Questions asking why.
Questions asking how.
Questions asking for methods to help cope with this, along with the many tragedies the news bombards us with almost daily.
Although a normal and natural response to loss, shock is one of the first emotions to such news.
In addition, there is denial.
Pleadings for a different reality are often heard.
Please wake me up from this bad dream.
It can't be real because I just spoke with him an hour ago via text message.
This can't happen and is unfair because we were to attend the family reunion next month.
You get the picture.
There are many statements that were modeled and adhered to in generations before us, such as "Never go to bed angry.
" Today, our busy lives don't leave much time for apologies and forgiveness, or even a conversation over dinner to ask, "How was your day?" What about our expressions of love and gratitude, which sometimes don't even make the calendar or "to do" list? When did you last say, "I love you" to your dear loved ones? Last night? This morning before you hurried off to work? Last week when you texted them about something they forgot to do? Still holding on to the attitude because of what they said or didn't say months ago? And, let's not forget about the children.
Did you discipline them last evening for an untidy room, but forget to show love as they headed out for school this morning? What about gratitude? Mother's Day was a week ago and I'm sure you showed gratitude on that day.
Have you expressed gratitude today? When working in the cemetery and witnessing as many as ten burials a day, a common statement heard was "Life is short.
" While that statement is prevalent while experiencing the death of a loved one or friend, or hearing the news of such devastating local or international tragedies, the effects seem to quickly diminish in the days, weeks, and months following.
We are hurried back into the multitasking demands of life.
Two of the more difficult emotions of grief to cope with are guilt and regret.
Life is not a dress rehearsal.
Tomorrow might not afford you the grand performance.
Today (actually, right now) is all that you have.
I charge you today to take a few moments from your busyness after you read this, and show love and gratitude.
Try not to say, "I'll show her when she gets home.
" When we leave home in the mornings and rush to our destinations, we expect to return home that evening.
That sometimes doesn't happen.
No, practicing love and gratitude on a daily basis will not prevent the sadness, the pain, the emotions of loss; but, it can reduce the guilt and regret of what you didn't say or do.
My Mantra: Everything in life is temporary, including life itself.
Decide to Say Yes! to the Gift of Now.