Getting your ex back after a breakup can be tricky, and if you go surfing for resources on how to do it, you'll find a lot of different places saying a lot of different things. There's no one "right answer" that flawlessly and permanently gets every single person his/her ex back, but I do know of one that has the highest likelihood to succeed of any method I've ever seen. Why does it work so well? It teaches you to look at the source rather than the symptoms, and helps you solve what was wrong to begin with!

One of your first impulses when you get broken up with is drastically wrong! When your partner dumps you, you automatically want to cling to him or her, desperately trying to make things work. This is probably the worst thing you could do, as it makes your partner feel smothered and even more confined. If you want your ex to pull away and stay away, by all means cling...but if you want to have any hope of getting back together, give him or her a little space right now. The time away from each other can be helpful both to your ex's recovery and to your efforts.

Don't lay about in depression and waste that precious alone time...get up and get motivated! There's a lot of work involved in getting your ex back, and I won't lie to you...some of it can be pretty hard. What you need to do is figure out what made the relationship fail, so that you can figure out how to fix it so that these things never happen again. If you weren't lucky enough that your ex gave you a friendly "parting gift" list of all your faults and fallbacks, then you have to sit down with yourself and really think about what you may have done wrong.

And don't think that you need to address anyone's fault but your own. It's not your ex you're working on, it's you...that's the main key to this whole thing: you need to realize that the only things you can fix are the ones you're responsible for, so take some responsibility and straighten things out! Ask yourself questions like "what went wrong?", "how did I contribute to the end of the relationship?", and "how do I fix it so that I stop bringing problems to the relationship?"

Get in gear, and when you find the answers to those questions, make use of them. Fix whatever issues you have going, that much is simple regardless of how "unsimple" the problem may be. Large or small, the problems you've added to your relationships need to be relieved, and it falls on you and only you to be the one to do that. If you're truly in love with your ex and want the relationship to have another fighting chance, you have to do as much as you possibly can to be the person you need to be for the relationship to work. If the compromises are too skewed, or the sacrifices too great...then you may need to recognize that you can't give your ex what he or she needs.

However, don't you dare use "maybe we're just not meant to be" as an excuse to refuse to work on yourself. That's just pure laziness, and it'll get you nowhere in a hurry and you'll be lonely when you get there. If you value your relationship with your ex, or indeed any relationship at all, you'll rise above the "victim's way out of self-improvement" and put forth an honest effort into making your relationships work. The problems that hurt your earlier relationships will probably hurt later ones too, so make sure that you go into any new relationship (including a new try at the one with your ex) without the problems that plagued you and your partner before.

I mean, this point is the one to remember. You've already proven that your ex and the person you were can't pull it off together...and your ex isn't changing. YOU have to change, or else any new try you make at the old relationship will just end the same way. Don't make that mistake..."oh, we'll just give it another shot if this fails again" is NOT the way to think. You mess up this time, it's probably for good. No matter how forgiving your ex, enough quickly becomes enough.

Once things have been patched up on the home front and you're ready to actively pursue your ex again, different places will tell you different ways to go about attracting your ex to the prospect of giving it another go. I find that the best way to do things is start easy with a simple phone call or email breaking back into light contact, and then work slowly upwards from there depending on how comfortable your ex is with the rate of progress. Don't go too fast, or you'll push your ex away. Don't go too slow, or your ex will drift off and move on. Balancing this isn't always easy, but if you're sensitive to your ex's feelings you should be okay here.

Listen up though, because this is vital...perhaps the most important thing for you to pay attention to in this article. If everything works out beautifully...you make the changes to yourself that are needed and get back into a happy relationship with your ex...you have to maintain those changes. Too many people think that it's a temporary thing, a quick fix that only lasts until you're together again. This is absolute nonsense...if you go back to how you were before, the relationship will go the way it did before. This time, however, there may be no more chances for you...so don't screw this up! It could be your one shot!

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.