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Helena on the Board

Now Helena has decided to join the CAC board. Bette?s boss comes in to tell Bette the ?good news.? Bette?s reaction to this is muted. That?s because right after the Helena announcement he tells her Ellen (or is it Alan?) Barnes will be joining them. Bette sure seems to know if it?s Ellen or Alan and she?s forgets for a moment that Helena will be accompanying her and joining the board.


This must be some exciting in the art world thing that?s over our heads.

Winne pays a visit

Winne Mann (Helena?s ex) shows up at Bette?s, kids in tow. Bette wasn?t expecting the kids and one runs right up to some expensive Richard Prince art that looks like a candy jar. Bette gently scolds him, no, no. Bette, have you thought about all the expensive art and the child you have on the way? Time to, my dear. Anyway, she offers to take the kids swimming in the pool. Funny, I didn?t see Winnie carrying an overnight bag with swim clothes, but they?re not naked, so maybe Bette has some boys swim trunks laying around?

Anyway, Winnie Mann is not just paying a social visit. She wants Bette to be a character witness against Helena in court. Bette is not so sure. Helena is on her Board of Directors, after all. But Winnie does give Bette some good advice. Don?t let Helena see you react. That?s the only thing she wants.

Cure for Writers Block

Alice is still struggling with what she?s going to do at her KCRW interview.

Dana says she needs to bring more humor into it. Alice, you?re a very funny lady. But Alice is frustrated. She really wants this radio gig. Dana, maybe if you get the dildo and fuck me really hard, that will help. What, me use a dildo, Dana protests. Oh, come on. You are such a top, Alice eggs her on. Well, okay, I?ll try it.

Things must have gone well in the dildo department because both funny ladies are now covered in hickies. And Alice has her big interview. And Dana has that all important photo shoot with Women?s Fitness Magazine. Oh girls, have you really been together long enough to pee in each other presence? Don?t you know that is the first step toward lesbian bed death?

Carmen confronts Shane

Shane is trying to hide from Carmen, but Carmen follows her into her room. When she sees Shane?s black eye, she demands to know who did this to her. ?You did,? Shane tells Carmen. Oh, that makes more sense. See, I couldn?t figure out who those two big bouncer guys were last week and why they wanted to beat your ass. Well, it doesn?t make sense to Carmen and she is pissed to be accused of something like that. But Shane apologizes and says she really, really wants to go back to being friends. Shane, do friends smell their friend?s hair like that as they walk past them? Just wondering.

The Burr Conner Movie Marathon

Jenny and Carmen are watching Burr Conner movies in preparation for Jenny?s big meeting with him. Mark walks in. Let?s time how long it takes for Mark to ask about Shane. One minute and 10 seconds. Wow, I think that is a new record. Good restraint Mark.