Marriage Infidelity - The Possibility of the Seemingly Impossible
Have you familiar of the saying "The impossible is only something that hasn't been done yet" or "Before something became possible, it was first known as the impossible"?
Well, the point that I'm driving at is this: even though for most people it seems impossible to survive infidelity when you're married, it isn't. The only reason why it is attributed as one of the impossible is that both partners, especially the faithful one, gives up and felt hopeless to save their marriage. In other words, they don't want to fight for what is right.
Now, if you feel a bit of reason to fight for your marriage, then I urge you to read on the rest of the article. But if you're still not convinced, then let me say "Let the chips fall where they may."
Seed of Infidelity
More often than not, marriage infidelity happens when one spouse cheats his or her partner due to selfishness. It's as simple as that. They're thinking about no one but themselves. To all those cheaters out there, don't try to defend or justify yourself and blame it on your partner. So what if your partner does have a fault in your marriage, are they the ones who are cheating between the both of you? A tree becomes what the seed is. If it's an apple seed, it becomes an apple tree. So, I believe it is safe to say that the tree of infidelity grew from the seed of infidelity which is SELFISHNESS. What is selfishness? In simple words, it's the act of satisfying ones need without considering the effect of the people around them. What fruit does this tree bear?
There are countless actually…
-Grief
-Betrayal
-Pain
-Self-denial
-Inferiority
-Inactivity
-etc.
I wouldn't want to take a bite of any of these fruits. But unfortunately, the faithful ones are the eating these fruits against their will. The cheater plants the seed, it grows into a tree but it's their partner who has to eat all the bitter fruits of it. Now, that's selfishness right there on the open.
Cutting Down the Tree
Now, you have a choice to make: Let the tree continue growing despite the rainstorms and blizzards, forcing you to eat the fruits it bear OR cut it down completely? Oh, it is easier to just let it grow. You just have to sit there, do nothing and watch it grow…Wait, is it really easier that way?
So listen, I know it's hard to take action and try to save your marriage. But if you really care about your marriage, then you would do everything in your power to save it. If it still seems impossible, then think about the people around you who are affected by it, like maybe your kids. If you're partner is being selfish, then don't copy them. Think about those you love, think about their sake. Do you want them to eat the bitter fruits of the tree of infidelity as well? No.
How can you cut down the tree? Here are some of the ways.
Replanting a New Tree- Tree of Forgiveness
It is human nature to hold a grudge and never forgive. But when we set our mind on forgiveness, it will ease the burden in us. Keep in mind that it's not all your fault. Don't drown yourself in self-denial and self-pity. Forgiveness may really help you in your mission of saving the marriage.
But if it turns out for the worst and your partner wants nothing more but to divorce and separate with you, then I guess it will be futile to fight back. When it is for the greater good, then you should probably divorce. Just keep in mind the act of forgiveness. Once you forgive, you can go on with the rest of your life and think that you're better off without a cheating spouse.
Well, the point that I'm driving at is this: even though for most people it seems impossible to survive infidelity when you're married, it isn't. The only reason why it is attributed as one of the impossible is that both partners, especially the faithful one, gives up and felt hopeless to save their marriage. In other words, they don't want to fight for what is right.
Now, if you feel a bit of reason to fight for your marriage, then I urge you to read on the rest of the article. But if you're still not convinced, then let me say "Let the chips fall where they may."
Seed of Infidelity
More often than not, marriage infidelity happens when one spouse cheats his or her partner due to selfishness. It's as simple as that. They're thinking about no one but themselves. To all those cheaters out there, don't try to defend or justify yourself and blame it on your partner. So what if your partner does have a fault in your marriage, are they the ones who are cheating between the both of you? A tree becomes what the seed is. If it's an apple seed, it becomes an apple tree. So, I believe it is safe to say that the tree of infidelity grew from the seed of infidelity which is SELFISHNESS. What is selfishness? In simple words, it's the act of satisfying ones need without considering the effect of the people around them. What fruit does this tree bear?
There are countless actually…
-Grief
-Betrayal
-Pain
-Self-denial
-Inferiority
-Inactivity
-etc.
I wouldn't want to take a bite of any of these fruits. But unfortunately, the faithful ones are the eating these fruits against their will. The cheater plants the seed, it grows into a tree but it's their partner who has to eat all the bitter fruits of it. Now, that's selfishness right there on the open.
Cutting Down the Tree
Now, you have a choice to make: Let the tree continue growing despite the rainstorms and blizzards, forcing you to eat the fruits it bear OR cut it down completely? Oh, it is easier to just let it grow. You just have to sit there, do nothing and watch it grow…Wait, is it really easier that way?
So listen, I know it's hard to take action and try to save your marriage. But if you really care about your marriage, then you would do everything in your power to save it. If it still seems impossible, then think about the people around you who are affected by it, like maybe your kids. If you're partner is being selfish, then don't copy them. Think about those you love, think about their sake. Do you want them to eat the bitter fruits of the tree of infidelity as well? No.
How can you cut down the tree? Here are some of the ways.
- Investigate the roots- find the weakness. Get a solid evidence that your partner is cheating.
- Face the trunk- confront the crime suspect. Tell your partner what you know and what you expect him or her to do about it. Be strong.
- Cut it down- let your partner remain accountable for his or her crimes. Don't let him or her off the hook easily. It might also be easy for him or her to do it again.
Replanting a New Tree- Tree of Forgiveness
It is human nature to hold a grudge and never forgive. But when we set our mind on forgiveness, it will ease the burden in us. Keep in mind that it's not all your fault. Don't drown yourself in self-denial and self-pity. Forgiveness may really help you in your mission of saving the marriage.
But if it turns out for the worst and your partner wants nothing more but to divorce and separate with you, then I guess it will be futile to fight back. When it is for the greater good, then you should probably divorce. Just keep in mind the act of forgiveness. Once you forgive, you can go on with the rest of your life and think that you're better off without a cheating spouse.
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