There comes a time in everyone's life when they can use a little professional help. If you, or you and your partner decide that therapy is the right course to help you through a difficult situation, make sure you find yourself a gay or lesbian friendly therapist.

Difficulty: Average

Time Required: A few days up to a couple of weeks

Here's How:

1. Ask Around. If a friend can recommend a therapist, that is a good place to start.

1. GLBT Center. If you live in a city with a gay and lesbian center, call there and ask if they have a list of gay-friendly therapists. Often gay and lesbian centers offer counseling and/or groups on site.
2. Check with your insurance. If your insurance covers psychotherapy, ask for a list of counselors. Often therapists who work with gays and lesbians will list that under their qualifications.
3. Gay/Lesbian publications. In the back of gay and lesbian newspapers, magazines or gay business guides is a great place to look for advertising for gay-friendly therapists.
4. Use the web. If you have a few therapists names, see if they have personal websites. Usually counselors who specialize in gay and lesbian issues will note that on their website.
5. Ask your family doctor. Your doctor, chiropractor, massage therapist or other helping professional may have contacts with therapists who are gay-friendly.
6. Call and talk to them. Once you have a list of three or more therapists, make sure to call and speak to each one on the phone. Find out what type of approach they take, what their fees are and how much experience they have working with lesbians or same-sex couples.

1. Visit their office. If you've found someone you like after talking with them on the phone, be sure to set up an initial meeting. In their office, find out the basic structure of therapy and if they have experience working with the issues you want to discuss.
2. Check out their qualifications. There are different types of therapists: Marriage and Family Therapists, Licensed Clinical Social Workers, psychologists and psychiatrists. Each has a different type of schooling, but at the minimum should have a masters degree to offer professional counseling.
3. Trust your gut. Don't underestimate your intuition when choosing a therapist. This is a person you're going to want to feel open sharing anything with. Make sure you feel listened to, at ease, supported and that the surroundings are comfortable. If the person makes you feel uncomfortable, visit someone else.

Tips:

1. Even if you're not going to therapy to deal with your sexual orientation, you probably want a gay-friendly therapist.
2. Beware of anyone who claims to "cure" homosexuality or calls herself a reparative therapist.
   
3. Remember it is your therapist's duty to uphold the ethics of the profession and you should never have a sexual relationship with your therapist or counselor.