Abandonment

• Abandonment, sometimes called "desertion," is more than a simple physical removal from the former marital home. In order to qualify as abandonment, a removal must be intentional and coupled with the intent to end the marital relationship. Your spouse's going on a long business trip or a military deployment will not constitute abandonment unless there is some indication that he has no intention of ever coming back. Signs of abandonment include permanently changing a mailing address, moving belongings out of the former marital residence and telling friends and family that you're separated. The physical removal also has to be unjustified -- if you move out because your spouse assaults you or throws you out of the house, you're generally within your rights.
  
  

Constructive Abandonment

• Abandonment isn't always physical. Constructive abandonment happens when your spouse does things that constitute a mental or emotional withdrawal from the marriage even if he's still living in the house with you. Consistently refusing to spend time with you, refusal to engage in sexual intercourse despite being physically able to do it and being an excessive user of alcohol or drugs can all constitute constructive abandonment. The types of behaviors that qualify as physical or constructive abandonment probably won't be in your state's family law code. You'll probably have to read case law to figure out whether what your soon-to-be-ex is doing fits the term.
  
  

Bed and Board Divorce

• In the age of no-fault divorce, abandonment may not mean much in terms of getting to the point where you can obtain an absolute divorce. It does figure importantly, however, in terms of obtaining another form of divorce -- divorce "a mensa et thoro," or "divorce from bed and board." This refers to a release from the duties or marriage, if not the legal status of marriage itself. If your spouse breaches a duty of cohabitation and support, a judge can release you from your own duties. Once a judge grants you a divorce a mensa et thoro, you're not only physically separated but also legally separated.
  
  

Support

• Married people also owe each other a duty of support. If a dependent spouse abandons the other, divorce a mensa et thoro can often release the supporting spouse from his duty to maintain her. If the supporting spouse commits abandonment, the court can order him to make temporary alimony payments until the parties can resolve permanent alimony. If the supporting spouse then refuses to pay despite having the ability to do so, the court can throw him in jail.