What is your idea of love? Did you think that because you loved each other you would live happily ever after? Did you think that if he loved you he wouldn't do anything without you? It is not the lack of love that causes problems it is the process of how to live together that can destroy love.
How you get along with each other, what you expect from each other, how you talk and listen to each other make up the kind of marriage you create with each other.
A couple I know who have been married four years recently made some changes.
He accepted a job that took him out of town on the average one or two nights a week and she was, in addition to her job, involved in getting ready to open a new business.
Both were busy and challenged by their individual new endeavors.
They found the separation actually made them more appreciative of each other when they were together.
Yet many friends and acquaintances of theirs were making predictions that these job related separations were not good for them.
These folks started from the premise that if this couple really loved each other they would not want to be apart.
This couple however felt that it was because they loved each other and wanted the best for each that they were able to make the best of the time apart and together.
If your idea of love is that your partner will do what I say or give me what I want or won't do anything without me you are setting yourself up with absolutes.
It is no wonder then that many couples have the illusion that since they love each other all things will work out automatically.
This message is reinforced by our societal message that love will solve all.
Love alone is not enough.
It is the skills that each brings into the marriage and the growing together that they do that make love grow.