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Dealing With Conflict In Relationships - The Differences Between Men And Women

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Psychology may help us understand why men and women respond so differently when it comes to resolving conflict in a relationship If you are dating or in a marriage, there are going to be arguments from time to time. What can make things worse is if the two people's ways of dealing with conflict cause them to make things worse.

There was a study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health which showed that most couples who had been together for only a couple of months between the ages of 18 and 21 avoided intimacy and being dependent on their other half. They also displayed increased levels of anxiety over the thought of being abandoned or rejected Those tested all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned.

What was interesting in the testing was how differently the results were in both men and women. The ones researching relationship psychology using these subjects found that in their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the reaction in men was more easily noticeable. Most of the reaction was increased anxiety for the majority of men while only those women who are the more avoidant types showed any real changes.

Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve conflict in a relationship. Psychology shows them to be, in this situation, the ones actively working to get the situation resolved. While they were showing increased levels of cortisol before and during the confrontation, the levels dropped significantly. They showed that getting the conflict over quickly was more physiologically satisfying.

Men, on the other hand, proved to be significantly more passive during conflict resolution Although the men showed evidence that they too wanted to resolve conflict, but there were not as anxious to confront it as willingly Those men who had female partners who were more secure showed lower levels of anxiety. Women showed no change in their levels of anxiety whether their male counterpart was secure or not.

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