Marriage problems have been around since the beginning of mankind.
I don't have any first hand knowledge but I would bet my left arm that the first man and woman to say "I Do" began to have marriage problems a couple of weeks into the marriage.
Marriage problems are like the air we breathe in that they are everywhere.
Let's get one thing out of the way now.
There is no perfect marriage.
If you are newly married I'm sorry to burst your bubble.
You will have problems in your marriage.
The key is how you look at the problems and how you deal with the problems.
Let's take a closer look at marriage problems.
First Year Marriage Problems The wedding was great and so was the honeymoon if you were fortunate enough to go on a honeymoon.
Not everyone can afford one these days.
Now reality begins to take hold, that is, the reality of living together.
Even if you lived together before you got married things are different once you say "I Do".
Now it's official and what's his is yours and what's yours is his.
That includes everything from cars to food to money to bathroom time to hanging out time to my problems are your problems to.
The marriage problems in the first year will seem quite silly when you get into later years of marriage.
However, it's critical that you learn how to deal with your first year blow ups in a mature way.
That means no running home to mom and complaining that your spouse is not the same person you use to date.
Also, no bashing your spouse to your friends or family because if it gets out it's difficult to regain respect and trust because this really hurts.
The golden key to dealing with first year marriage problems is to not make a big deal out of un-important issues.
The biggest first year marriage problems will be who's buying what and who's hanging out.
Sure there will be little nuances like messy toothpaste, dirty clothes and control of the remote.
You will easily overcome these silly arguments.
The key is to be open and honest about your shared money and make sure you remember you are now a couple and can't hang out with your friends as if you are single.
Common Marriage Problems One you have been married for a few years you begin to get into the common marriage problem arena.
These marriage problems include; jealousy, trust, money, time, commitment to common goals and children.
Yes children are a blessing and at times a problem in a marriage.
Let's take a closer look at these marriage problems.
Jealousy is a marriage killer for some couples and never an issue for others.
There are some spouses who are very jealous and begin to get overly abusive as time goes on because there spouse is an out-going person and has many more friends.
If some of those friends are of the opposite sex this begins to cause serious marriage problems for some couples.
Although these friends were OK before the marriage after the marriage there is a sense of protectiveness that causes the jealous spouse to resent your old friendships.
I would recommend re-examining your old relationships if your spouse is uncomfortable with you having a lot of friends of the opposite sex.
If you don't address the issue you will regret it.
Trust is similar to jealousy as a marriage problem but involves more areas of the relationship.
For starters there is generally trust until it's broken.
Then it's very hard to regain.
A lot of marriage problems exist because of a lack of trust.
This leads to one spouse trying to guess the motives behind something their spouse did or said.
For example, receiving a bouquet of flowers when it isn't Valentine's Day or a birthday makes a person question the reason instead of accepting the act of love.
Without trust I believe relationship issues will continue to grow and destroy a marriage.
Money is a big marriage problem, especially if there isn't enough to go around.
The strain money puts on a marriage is only because of the importance couples place on material things.
There are very happy couples living in poverty or below poverty standards whom are very happy.
The may have other marriage problems but they have not let their financial circumstances dictate their relationship.
Money is a problem in a marriage only when selfish desires are placed ahead of a spouse.
If couples view each other more important than the material things then money is an issue but not a marriage problem.
Time is another big marriage problem.
Although every couple is given the same amount of time in a day it's clear that the demands of life and the choices made have a big impact on relationships.
The saying "out of sight out of mind" is a little true.
If couples can't find enough quality time together it's a problem.
It's a bigger issue if by choice couples don't spend enough time together.
Working late, doing volunteer work, helping out neighbors, friends and family are all noble causes.
However, if you don't also make time for each other by choice you will go from a small issue to a big headache.
I'm speaking from experience, trust me! There are a couple of other issues like being on the same page and dealing with children in a marriage but these topics need there own discussion.
I'm sure you know that if you don't have the same vision you'll end up in two different places and it will be evident as years go.
The children, if you have any, can bring you closer together or push you further apart.
It's important to figure out how to not let them become the focal point of your relationship.
If you can figure that out you will be way ahead of a lot of other couples.