I was traveling several weekends in a row, so I missed Sunday church services.
When I returned to church I met a friend of mine.
She had lost so much weight I barely recognized her and was wearing a cap to cover her bare head.
"Oh my gosh, she has cancer," I thought to myself.
Several Sundays later I met my friend again at church.
She handed me a CD, a recording of a lay church service I had given.
"This is for you," she said with a smile.
Her gesture surprised and touched me.
At a loss for words I mumbled, "Thanks so much.
" Now I realize my friend was tying up loose ends before entering hospice.
Two weeks later the minister told the congregation my friend was dying.
"She doesn't want any visitors," the minister explained.
"However, she would love to receive cards from you.
" Willing as I was to send a card, a get well card wouldn't be appropriate, and there were no cards for a person who was dying.
Finally I spotted a "thinking of you" card and bought it.
On the front of the card there was a line drawing of a smiling woman.
Inside there were only two words, "with love," which left plenty of white space for my message.
What could I write? Though I have been a writer for decades I couldn't seem to find the words I needed.
A simple card had become a huge writing challenge.
Somehow, I had to honor my friend's life and all she had done for others.
I wrote two drafts on the computer and neither was right.
One draft was too long and the other was too short.
Since I didn't know if my friend was still lucid, or heavily medicated, I opted for four short sentences.
"During your life you have helped many others, probably more than you know," I began.
"Thank you for all you have done for our church.
I enjoyed all of our conversations and appreciate your friendship and help.
" My note ended with the words, "Thank you for being you.
" Last Sunday morning, before the service began, a church committee member approached me.
"I've been sitting with Mary Beth," she said, "and she is very confused, so frail she can't open cards.
I open them for her and summarize what they say.
When Mary Beth learned one of the cards was from you, she smiled and her entire face lit up.
" The story cheered and saddened me.
Clearly, my friend's life was drawing to a close and I hoped she understood the feelings behind my simple words.
Are you thinking about sending a note or card to a friend in hospice? If so, please choose a suitable card or a blank one.
Keep your message short and close with the most important sentence.
Whatever you choose to write, don't worry about your handwriting, and write from the heart.
A week has passed since I sent the card to my friend.
Now I realize my last sentence, "Thank you for being you," said all I needed to say.
Copyright 2012 by Harriet Hodgson