Updated June 09, 2015.

Diabetes is a hard condition to live with. It is obviously difficult for the person diagnosed with diabetes. But it also can be very difficult for family members as well. Perhaps the hardest part for family members is knowing how to emotionally support their loved one as they live with and struggle against diabetes.

Extending emotional support can be challenging if you don’t know how to approach it.

Here are some sound tips for supporting your loved one in a way that will make them feel cared for and motivate them to continue practicing good diabetes management.

Listen with an emotional ear

When you listen to your loved one with an "emotional ear" you are trying to tune into their feelings. In our information-oriented society we are prone to focus on the content of what others are saying more than the feelings that accompany them. When someone is struggling, though, what they most want others to hear is their emotion.

For example, a husband with diabetes tells his wife that he is sick of checking his blood and giving himself insulin shots multiple times every day. He says he feels like stopping and living like a "normal" person again. When his wife hears him say this she could respond by trying to reason with him, tell him to call his doctor to talk about it, or she could panic. But none of these responses would be as effective as empathizing with him.

What Is empathy?

Empathy is the ability to feel something similar to what another person is feeling.

It communicates a deeper level of care and concern. When your loved one is experiencing an emotion, you can extend empathy by trying to imagine what it would feel like to be in his or her position and then allow yourself to feel that emotion.

In order to empathize effectively we must learn to listen carefully. We don’t simply tune into the words, but we listen for the feelings behind the words. For example, the wife mentioned above could empathetically respond to her husband by saying, "I hear that you are bone tired of fighting diabetes every day and it totally makes sense that you would feel burned out from time to time. Help me understand more of what you are going through right now."

Notice there is no panic, no advice and no distraction away from the emotion. In fact, she goes directly into the emotion because that is what is most important to her husband at the time. You should make a sincere attempt to understand your loved one’s emotion before giving advice. When you are able to hear the emotion in your loved one’s words, think of it as an invitation to step into their feelings.

Tune into both their verbal and non-verbal messages

In the busyness of day-to-day life, it is easy not to tune in well to those closest to us. We assume we know what they are doing, thinking and feeling in most situations. But this is often not true. When we tune into our loved one’s verbal and non-verbal messages and really hear and see what they are communicating, we validate them in a profound way. We send back the message that we not only hear them, but what they say matters to us.

It is particularly important that we inquire of our loved one when we get a verbal message that conflicts with their body language. When we encounter this conflict in daily life we tend to put greater weight on the non-verbal message. But instead of drawing our own conclusions we should always check with our loved one to give them an opportunity to respond.

Reflect back on what you hear and see

When we make an effort to listen carefully to our loved one with diabetes we also need to respond back in a way that communicates that we truly understand what they are saying. If the wife of the man who is tired of practicing diabetes management simply said, "I understand what you are saying" and left it at that, it leaves a big question mark in the mind of her spouse. "Does she really understand the depth of how tired and discouraged I am?" he might say to himself. But, if she responded by summarizing and reflecting what she heard him say, he could then be certain that his core message was received. If not, he could further clarify his main point.

As you practice these three skills with your loved one, not only will you be providing much-needed emotional support and encouragement, but you might also see your communication improve and your relationship grow stronger.