If you think some people are just likeable by nature, think again. Likeability is one thing you can actually control. Being likeable doesn’t mean being fake or pretending to be something you aren’t, rather, it’s presenting yourself in the best possible way in order to interact with others.

There are certain qualities that people find attractive in others and they aren’t difficult to incorporate into your manner or way of being.

Listen Genuinely Without Interrupting

Why do people interrupt? Why can’t they sit quietly and listen attentively? With our fast-paced world people get used to short bursts of speech through text, Facebook posts, Twitter, and email. When someone speaks slowly or takes a few minutes to formulate what they want to say, it can seem like we’re waiting forever for them to just “spit it out.”

Listening fully counteracts our “have it now” society, which is one reason it’s so great to see someone actually pay attention to you. So use that to your advantage and learn to listen. Don’t let your mind wander off when someone is talking. Don’t interrupt or try to “sum up” their points for them in order to finish talking faster. Put away your phone and just listen.

Smile Sincerely

Too many people put on fake smiles when they first meet people. I suppose they feel it’s better than frowning, but giving someone an insincere smile makes them want to avoid you or doubt that what you say is true.

The best way to smile sincerely is to take a genuine interest in people.

Put aside your agenda. Then, when you see them just be happy you have the ability to interact with them. A sincere smile has to come from within first in order for it to be reflected on the outside.

Keep Your Promises

I go back again and again to The Four Agreements with this one: Be impeccable with your word. We all know people we can’t trust. Friends who say they’ll call us or be there when we need them to but somehow manage to fall through with their promises every time. These people aren’t likeable.

To be someone that does what you say you’re going to do, think before you make promises. Be slower to agree to things. Take your time before you decide if you want to commit to something, and then once you do, look at the commitment as an opportunity you can’t miss.

Learn About Other People

Too often we want to share our stories and the result is often a room full of people all wanting to be heard. Instead, actively be interested in others. Go into a room with a vibe that encourages people to share things about themselves. Allow others to tell you the things that are on their hearts.

When you change your approach this way, you’ll be fascinated with the lives of others. It will instantly make you more appreciative of the things you have in life and give you inspiration for the challenging moments.

Be Honest In a Kind Way

Likeable people are those you know will tell you the truth but won’t hurt your feelings. I always remember Mister Rogers in this regard. Do you remember how a little kid would ask something like, “Is this shot going to hurt?” and he would say it would for just a minute but it’s not going to be too terrible. This was so much better than lying, which other adults may have been tempted to do.

Sometimes we tell someone a lie because we know the truth will hurt them, but there are ways to be honest without being hurtful. Remember someone’s feelings when you’re talking to them and they’ll like you for it.

Be Realistically Positive

Being positive doesn’t mean being fake. It doesn’t mean being Pollyanna and telling someone who needs encouragement that “It will get better” “Think positively!” or “I’m sure it’s fine!” when perhaps it isn’t.

A likeable person is someone who maintains a positive attitude but can get real with people, too. They know how to provide hope that will sustain a friend.