Getting Over Your Ex Girlfriend By Avoiding These 5 Thinking Errors
If you're getting over your ex girlfriend and finding it tough to make sense of what happenned, then it may be time to take a step back and think about thinking for a second.
Sometimes it's not what you think, it's the way that you think that determines your outcome. Pretty deep huh? There's more. I'm going to list 5 thinking errors that I want you to watch out for - traps that you may fall into that I want you to notice, and then jump straight back out again if you fell for any of them.
The chances are that if you're struggling to get through your current challenges at the moment, you could be making some of these errors.
1. All-or-nothing thinking.
This pattern assumes that everything is black or white without any varying degrees inbetween. For instance, "I'll never find anyone with a figure like hers again." Come one, have you looked at how much time girls spend in the gym these days. Never??!! Get out of here. Never say never. Never.
2. Blowing things out of proportion.
This is where you amplify the negatives and minimise the positives. An example - "I lost my temper with my ex and she started to cry. I heard she told her girlfriends and now they all hate me, every single one." Well , she may have cried, told her girlfriends, but it's unlikely that everyone hates you just because of that.
3. Personalisation.
When you personalise, you take on responsibility for someone's else's thoughts, feelings or actions. For example, "I made her have an affair because of the long hours I worked and the time I spent with my buddies." Nope, she's driving her own bus and is completely responsible for her own actions. You concentrate on getting over your ex girlfriend and leave the rest to her.
4. Mind Reading.
Claiming to know what someone else is thinking or feeling is not possible. So phrases like "I know she hates me" "I know how she feels about me" "I can guess what's going through your mind right now" just aren't true. I know what you're thinking, but just go with me on this one. :0)
5. Labelling.
This pattern results in a generalised judgement about yourself as a person, based on one specific event. For instance, "I slept with someone else whilst I was with my ex and feel terrible guilt as a result - I'm a selfish and deceitful jerk". No, you just had a one-night stand and were unfaithful in one specific instance. Who made you judge and jury?
Okay, homework time. For the next week, I want you to notice whether you are making any of these thinking errors when you think about what happened between you and her. We all succumb to these from time to time - it's part of being human. The trick is to notice it, correct it and carry on with getting over your ex girlfriend.
Sometimes it's not what you think, it's the way that you think that determines your outcome. Pretty deep huh? There's more. I'm going to list 5 thinking errors that I want you to watch out for - traps that you may fall into that I want you to notice, and then jump straight back out again if you fell for any of them.
The chances are that if you're struggling to get through your current challenges at the moment, you could be making some of these errors.
1. All-or-nothing thinking.
This pattern assumes that everything is black or white without any varying degrees inbetween. For instance, "I'll never find anyone with a figure like hers again." Come one, have you looked at how much time girls spend in the gym these days. Never??!! Get out of here. Never say never. Never.
2. Blowing things out of proportion.
This is where you amplify the negatives and minimise the positives. An example - "I lost my temper with my ex and she started to cry. I heard she told her girlfriends and now they all hate me, every single one." Well , she may have cried, told her girlfriends, but it's unlikely that everyone hates you just because of that.
3. Personalisation.
When you personalise, you take on responsibility for someone's else's thoughts, feelings or actions. For example, "I made her have an affair because of the long hours I worked and the time I spent with my buddies." Nope, she's driving her own bus and is completely responsible for her own actions. You concentrate on getting over your ex girlfriend and leave the rest to her.
4. Mind Reading.
Claiming to know what someone else is thinking or feeling is not possible. So phrases like "I know she hates me" "I know how she feels about me" "I can guess what's going through your mind right now" just aren't true. I know what you're thinking, but just go with me on this one. :0)
5. Labelling.
This pattern results in a generalised judgement about yourself as a person, based on one specific event. For instance, "I slept with someone else whilst I was with my ex and feel terrible guilt as a result - I'm a selfish and deceitful jerk". No, you just had a one-night stand and were unfaithful in one specific instance. Who made you judge and jury?
Okay, homework time. For the next week, I want you to notice whether you are making any of these thinking errors when you think about what happened between you and her. We all succumb to these from time to time - it's part of being human. The trick is to notice it, correct it and carry on with getting over your ex girlfriend.
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