Single for Life by Tony Toni of B.N.O
We've all heard or used the phrase are you "Single and Ready to Mingle"? Well, for those that don't know, I've been single for approximately twelve years. I decided to end my 2-year relationship when the family business took more of my time, she just couldn't understand why. So, we both decided that it was best that we part but the timing couldn't have been worse since it was Christmas holidays.
That's when it hit me that as much as I tried to make quality time and make her happy it just wasn't enough. I was also tired of working for the family, i felt too sheltered and my life was just too predictable. It was exhausting to have my mother control my life. So, I decided that it was time for "ME." I was determined to experience LIFE and do something, I wanted complete control of my life, total "FREEDOM." I was willing to do anything just to be away from my mother's radar!
I moved to Manila, Philippines and was determined to make it on my own. I had to focus my energy on finding my true passion and not let anyone distract me. I understand that being in a relationship is a huge responsibility, I was not willing to make the time and effort. I've told myself time and time again that my career is my priority and that I choose to stay single and let the women know that I don't do commitment and exclusivity.
You are probably thinking I have some deep issues. I don't deny that I have issues when it comes to commitment, trust and my dear mother. Don't worry, I am seeking professional help on the last one. So, you can say I have a Bachelor's Degree in SINGLEHOOD and below are a list of advantages and benefits of being single.
1. Free From Issues
No one will nag you to do this or do that. No one will ask you why you are late or why you work overtime. No one will ask who is calling/texting you or why you smell of cigarettes. No one will ask who you spend the evening with or went out of town with. No one will scold you for your annoying habits or call you out for the music you are listening to.
2. Freedom and Independence
Imagine living a life without having to answer to no one. You have the power to go somewhere without notifying or asking permission. It allows for more spontaneity in your life, you can make decisions on the spur of the moment.
Being single allows you to be your own person and really just do as you please. Being single allows you to make your own choices.
For us guys, being single forces you to do things for yourself, like grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. Being skilled at different things makes you a more complete, independent, well-rounded person, which is a great quality to have, and one that will be noticed if you decide to seek a relationship later on.
3. More Time
You might always hear "THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH TIME." When you're single, you will have more time for yourself and things that you like to do (more time for hobbies, relaxation, being with friends and family, and so on). You can set your own schedule. Singlehood gives you more time to better yourself. You can use the extra time to work on your career, volunteer, or take classes for job advancement or just for personal enrichment. Relationships require a significant amount of time, as anyone who is married or in a relationship will tell you. So take advantage of any extra time while you still have it.
4. Control Over Your Emotions
Being single allows you to stabilize your emotions. When a person is in a relationship, especially when it is just starting, your emotions can go to extremes. Confusing Love for Lust or vice versa, questioning whether he/she likes you or am I the only one. It's enough to make you go crazy with all these thoughts running in your head. What more, when you have an argument or an LQ and you waste energy shouting, crying, and fighting which is emotionally draining. You won't have to worry about getting your heart broken. Mental and Emotional peace of mind is what you have!
5. More Cash
If you are in a relationship it requires time and money, lots of money! Being single gives you full financial freedom. Boys, think of the money you'll save by not having to pay for dinners and movies, and buying all kinds of presents for special dates. It allows you to spend money that you have on yourself with no guilt. You can spend without getting in trouble by your partner. Being single may also make it easier to plan for saving money for the future.
6. Flirting/Sex Freedom
Being single gives you the complete FREEDOM TO FLIRT, you can make "landi" on text, phone, twitter and facebook. You don't need to worry about being tagged on photos. You can also improve your communication skills with the opposite sex. You can make hohol/momol with whomever you want, whenever you want.
You can be polygamous and have sex with just about anyone without feeling guilty.
*Please remember that you should be careful who you sleep and even make up with. Practice safe sex and get your HPV shots because Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) are real. It can infect anyone and YOU CAN NEVER TELL who has it so practice utmost discretion. Remember STDs don't discriminate so you should.
7. Self Awareness
It can give you a deeper awareness of who you really are - not someone as defined by a relationship. Being single allows you to be yourself and develop who you really are. Finding out your weakness and strengths so you can be your best self and the best partner when he/she comes along.
These are just some of the advantages to being single. As you move forward into becoming a successful single, you will find more advantages. So if you are one of those people that keep asking yourself "why am I single?" or "when I will find love?" make sure that while you are asking yourself that, don't lose the opportunity to make the most out of being single. And when you meet someone that you think you can have a relationship with, make sure he or she is the kind that will support your passion and will allow you to grow. That's what love is.
That's when it hit me that as much as I tried to make quality time and make her happy it just wasn't enough. I was also tired of working for the family, i felt too sheltered and my life was just too predictable. It was exhausting to have my mother control my life. So, I decided that it was time for "ME." I was determined to experience LIFE and do something, I wanted complete control of my life, total "FREEDOM." I was willing to do anything just to be away from my mother's radar!
I moved to Manila, Philippines and was determined to make it on my own. I had to focus my energy on finding my true passion and not let anyone distract me. I understand that being in a relationship is a huge responsibility, I was not willing to make the time and effort. I've told myself time and time again that my career is my priority and that I choose to stay single and let the women know that I don't do commitment and exclusivity.
You are probably thinking I have some deep issues. I don't deny that I have issues when it comes to commitment, trust and my dear mother. Don't worry, I am seeking professional help on the last one. So, you can say I have a Bachelor's Degree in SINGLEHOOD and below are a list of advantages and benefits of being single.
1. Free From Issues
No one will nag you to do this or do that. No one will ask you why you are late or why you work overtime. No one will ask who is calling/texting you or why you smell of cigarettes. No one will ask who you spend the evening with or went out of town with. No one will scold you for your annoying habits or call you out for the music you are listening to.
2. Freedom and Independence
Imagine living a life without having to answer to no one. You have the power to go somewhere without notifying or asking permission. It allows for more spontaneity in your life, you can make decisions on the spur of the moment.
Being single allows you to be your own person and really just do as you please. Being single allows you to make your own choices.
For us guys, being single forces you to do things for yourself, like grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. Being skilled at different things makes you a more complete, independent, well-rounded person, which is a great quality to have, and one that will be noticed if you decide to seek a relationship later on.
3. More Time
You might always hear "THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH TIME." When you're single, you will have more time for yourself and things that you like to do (more time for hobbies, relaxation, being with friends and family, and so on). You can set your own schedule. Singlehood gives you more time to better yourself. You can use the extra time to work on your career, volunteer, or take classes for job advancement or just for personal enrichment. Relationships require a significant amount of time, as anyone who is married or in a relationship will tell you. So take advantage of any extra time while you still have it.
4. Control Over Your Emotions
Being single allows you to stabilize your emotions. When a person is in a relationship, especially when it is just starting, your emotions can go to extremes. Confusing Love for Lust or vice versa, questioning whether he/she likes you or am I the only one. It's enough to make you go crazy with all these thoughts running in your head. What more, when you have an argument or an LQ and you waste energy shouting, crying, and fighting which is emotionally draining. You won't have to worry about getting your heart broken. Mental and Emotional peace of mind is what you have!
5. More Cash
If you are in a relationship it requires time and money, lots of money! Being single gives you full financial freedom. Boys, think of the money you'll save by not having to pay for dinners and movies, and buying all kinds of presents for special dates. It allows you to spend money that you have on yourself with no guilt. You can spend without getting in trouble by your partner. Being single may also make it easier to plan for saving money for the future.
6. Flirting/Sex Freedom
Being single gives you the complete FREEDOM TO FLIRT, you can make "landi" on text, phone, twitter and facebook. You don't need to worry about being tagged on photos. You can also improve your communication skills with the opposite sex. You can make hohol/momol with whomever you want, whenever you want.
You can be polygamous and have sex with just about anyone without feeling guilty.
*Please remember that you should be careful who you sleep and even make up with. Practice safe sex and get your HPV shots because Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) are real. It can infect anyone and YOU CAN NEVER TELL who has it so practice utmost discretion. Remember STDs don't discriminate so you should.
7. Self Awareness
It can give you a deeper awareness of who you really are - not someone as defined by a relationship. Being single allows you to be yourself and develop who you really are. Finding out your weakness and strengths so you can be your best self and the best partner when he/she comes along.
These are just some of the advantages to being single. As you move forward into becoming a successful single, you will find more advantages. So if you are one of those people that keep asking yourself "why am I single?" or "when I will find love?" make sure that while you are asking yourself that, don't lose the opportunity to make the most out of being single. And when you meet someone that you think you can have a relationship with, make sure he or she is the kind that will support your passion and will allow you to grow. That's what love is.
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