Compromise Agreements

• 1). Decide what outcome you want. Do you want compensation, an apology, forgiveness, or just to keep your job? Is it important to maintain the relationship?
  
  Be flexible, but think about where you are willing to compromise. In “Getting to Yes,” Fisher and Ury suggest you be realistic about your best alternative to a compromise.
  
  
• 2
  The first step is to reach out for the other person.hello image by Patrizier-Design from Fotolia.com
  
  Contact the other person. Point out the advantages of settling your argument privately and on your own terms. If necessary use an intermediary to persuade him to sit down and work things out.
  
  
• 3). Set ground rules for your session. Some basic rules are to take turns talking, listen without interrupting, and avoid name-calling and bad language. Agreeing up front to stay calm can keep the discussion on track.
  
  
• 4
  Don't let emotions keep you from negotiating effectively.asian emotion image by Frenk_Danielle Kaufmann from Fotolia.com
  
  Acknowledge feelings, but separate them from the issues. As Fisher and Ury would say, separate the person from the problem. You can apologize for upsetting someone without agreeing to his demands or even with his point of view.
  
  Take responsibility for your own behavior without excusing hers. Say, “I was angry because . . . ,” not, “You made me angry . . . .” Look for solutions, not blame. Decide if you can be satisfied with restitution even if she won’t acknowledge fault.
  
  
• 5). Define the issues. Ask yourself and the other party what you hope to accomplish—before insisting on how it is to be done. Look for common ground, explore why you each take the position you do. In one column, write down things you can agree on. Put items of disagreement in another column and come back to them later. You may discover they are no longer as important.
  
  
• 6
  Ask for what you want and then listen to the counteroffer.business 63 image by Nathalie P from Fotolia.com
  
  Brainstorm solutions. Take turns offering suggestions. Write down everything without judging until you both run out of ideas. Don’t be afraid to offer options that seem unrealistic—one crazy idea may lead to another that works.
  
  
• 7
  Compromise may mean meeting in the middle.business 87 image by Nathalie P from Fotolia.com
  
  Pick the best idea and test it out to see how it might work. Test the second-best, then the third. Agree on the ideas that work for both of you. If there are still areas of disagreement, agree to try out the parts you were able to settle and then meet again at a predetermined date to work on the rest.
  
  
• 8). Write up your agreement. Include specific actions, objective criteria, time frames and deadlines. Decide how the agreement is to be enforced, and if it is to remain confidential or made public.