When you're thinking about divorcing or separating from your spouse or partner, there are so many different thoughts going through your head.
If you think about it, it's probably taken you quite some time to get to where you are now; at the point where you really know you either want to, or have to separate or divorce your spouse.
It's a nightmare just thinking about how you are going to deal with your emotions and the practical everyday things that will all be tossed up in the air when it happens and you are yet to get round to facing it all.
There are probably so many things to think about that you really don't know where to start, but one of the key issues that you really have to begin to get your head round is your child and how you are going to explain to them what's likely or going to be happening.
Obviously, you are unlikely to tell your child about the possibility of divorce or separation unless you're really quite clear that it's inevitable or imminent.
You may decide to tell your child that mum and dad are having a lot of problems, that they are trying to sort out and that you are both finding it very difficult to manage.
It would be appropriate for you to tell your child that you're not sure exactly what's going to happen, but one of the things could happen is that you separate and divorce.
You will want to consider the age and level of understanding of your child, when planning to relay this information to them.
This will probably involve you talking to your child and gaining an understanding from them about what they understand and makes sense to them.
You will also need to explain to them what all of this is likely to mean for them and be prepared to have regular conversations about their feelings and the implications of separation.
Try at all times to empathise and understand what's going on in their head and try to answer any of their questions.
Your child will likely have an enormous need for reassurance that they are loved by both parents and that they are not to blame for the problems between their parents.
Although you will be going through your own turmoil, talking to your child and keeping them informed about what's likely to take place will be extremely important for them and how trusting they are with regard to you.
The fact that you took the time to both consider them and explain things to them will pay dividends in terms of your relationship in the future.
Take care not to involve them in adult conversations.
They do not need to hear the details of why you're separating or what precisely has gone on, all they need to know is that you're having serious problems and what the outcome may mean for them and you as a family.
If you bear in mind that your child will have strong feelings of loyalty to both of you, this will probably mean that you remain sensitive to their feelings and hopefully will prevent you from making upsetting remarks about the other parent in your child's presence.