What is Asexuality?

Individuals who are asexual tend to not feel sexual attraction. Just like teens might know they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or hetero, it is a also possible for a teen to clearly know that they are asexual.

But like a lot of things that have to do with our identity, being asexual is a little more nuanced that simply not being interested in sex.  

Here are 5 things you probably didn't know about asexuality!


1)Asexuality is a Spectrum

Asexuality is not just the lack of desire to have sex full stop. There is pretty big range of ways that asexuals experience this identity. There are even different terms within the asexual community to describe that range. Here are a two of those:

Demisexual: A sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond. Some demisexuals feel like they straddle the line between being sexual and being asexual. 

Gray-asexual, or gray-sexual: Nope this doesn't mean a senior citizen who is asexual, this term refers to identifying within the gray area between being sexual and asexual.

2) Asexuals Can Have Intimate and Romantic Relationships

Many asexual individuals develop close relationships with other people which are often romantic in nature. These people may say they have a "romance drive."  Often these do not involve sex, but every situation is different. 

3) Asexuality is Not a Disorder That Needs to Be Fixed

Until 1973, the official view of the American Psychiatric Association was that "homosexuality" was mental health disorder that needed to be cured.

 That seems ludicrous today, but many people still view asexuality as a condition that can and should be fixed.

But just like you can't turn a gay person straight, you can't (and shouldn't) try to make an asexual person sexual. 

4) Asexuality Is Not the Same Thing as Being Celibate or Abstinent

People choose to be celibate or abstinent out of personal beliefs. Being asexual is not a choice. It is simply who someone is. 

5) Some Asexual People Identify as Queer, Others Don't

Some asexuals who have romance drives may identify as queer, especially if these drives propel them towards someone who is of the same gender, or who themselves identifies as queer.

On the other hand, those whose drives are hetero-romantic may not identify as queer.

There are also asexuals who do not have romance drives but who identify as queer out of a sense of connection to the LGBT community since like many gay, lesbian, bisexual and pansexual folks, asexuals are often seen as a sexual minority. 

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Many people do not believe that people can be asexual and might try to tell an asexual person that he or she is confused, hasn't met the right person yet or is actually gay.

Hearing these types of comments can be really discouraging and can make people feel like there is something wrong with them. That's why it is helpful to understand just what asexuality is and what it isn't.