More often, couples who truly love each other decide to get marry to build a family and have children.   The arrival of children in married couples can be the most exciting part in a couple's life; it can make the relationship stronger and closer.  But there are also instances that children can be the cause of some marital issues.  According to marriage counseling, children have the tendency to intervene with some of the major aspects of marriage such as privacy and intimacy, communication and sexual expression.

Losing Privacy and Intimacy

Privacy and intimacy are basic needs of a healthy relationship (in Denmark we refer to that as parforhold problemer).  Couples should have private and intimate moment to relax, share each other's feeling and to savor quality time together. They are important because they keep the flame of your marriage continuously burning.  Marriage counseling says that intimacy is major component of sexuality and frequently leads to sex.

You are likely to lose privacy and intimacy when you already have children. You tend to devote more of your time and attention to your kids as well as in satisfying their needs; thereby losing your privacy and intimacy.

Communication Problems

Maintaining a good communication with your partner is necessary to keep your marriage stronger. Marriage counseling says communication serves as a link to know each other's feelings, ideas, interests, needs and concerns.

Children enjoy being the center of the attention of their parents. This is the reason why they usually obstruct the communication of their parents.  Children are very possessive with their parents resulting to some communication gap between husband and wife.

Limited Sexual Expression

Touching, kissing and sexual contact are part of couple's sexual expression. Marriage counseling exclaims that these are very vital in a relationship to keep the spark of their marriage.

Couples may tend to decrease their sexual desires once they have children.  More often, by the time the couple goes to bed, the wife may already be tired and exhausted because of attending to the needs of their children. 

How to Restore your Marriage

Children may cause marital issues with couples but there are several ways on how to address them to restore your relationship.

• Talk with your spouse and discuss the problem.  Inform your partner that you are too eager to have quality time with him.
• Manage your time properly. Be sure to spend quality time with your kids and your partner.
• From time to time, go out for a date to have some time to relax and enjoy each other's company. Show also your affection to your partner. A mere eye contact can mean so much.
• Have problem free moment with your partner.  Instead of discussing your kids and other problems, discuss something that would be more interesting like sports or current events.
• Play, enjoy and have fun. Laugh to your heart's content; it's never a crime for couples who already have children to have fun.

Marriage and children should not be taken separately.  They should be taken as a whole because they are both vital to a healthy relationship.