Avoiding Divorce - The Will
You have most probably received thousands of tips and suggestions on how to go on about avoiding divorce.
So, I won't bore you with more.
What I will ask you to do is examine the pros and cons of getting a divorce, with total detachment.
Separate yourself from all the emotional turmoil, the abuse, the harassments of your day-to-day life and make a list - in writing.
Let's take a look at some of the pros: - you will be rid of the day to aggravation and abuse - that is, if there is any physical/ mental abuse - be free to make your own decisions, be they financial or emotional - bye, bye, compromises - no more feeling guilty about what you did or did not do or say - feel at peace with yourself Now, this is all well and good, but life is about harsh realities, where it's not so easy to lead the simple and peaceful life craved by one and all.
Especially, when it comes to avoiding divorce, you can see all your dreams of being free and happy going down the drain.
But this is not necessarily true, even though you might not achieve all the above listed pros, if you avoid divorce, you can still attain some or all of the pros to varying degrees.
But first, let's look at some of the cons: - no one beside you - to love, to fight, to argue with, to have differences of opinion with and to make up with - the loneliness is the worst part - no one to take out the garbage and drop the kids to school - even if only occasionally - no one to help out if you are ill or having a bad time - your problem, nobody else's - no one to share financial responsibilities with - all on your own there too After evaluating the pros and cons, if you still think that not avoiding divorce is in your best interest then so be it.
But if you think, there might be even one saving grace in your marriage then you should give it another thought.
True, you may not get everything you want, but this is when you should remind yourself that marriage is all about making compromises for the privilege of sharing your life with someone.
Nothing worthwhile comes without effort and sacrifices, but if you have the will to keep your marriage intact, then you will figure out a way to work-around the issues you have with each-other.
Just deal with it practically, putting aside all the romantic fluff.
Your marriage is a partnership, and just like any other partnership both partners must be clear about what they are getting out of it, and what they have to put into it, to make it a success.
Ultimately, there is really just one thing you really need for avoiding divorce - the will to do so!
So, I won't bore you with more.
What I will ask you to do is examine the pros and cons of getting a divorce, with total detachment.
Separate yourself from all the emotional turmoil, the abuse, the harassments of your day-to-day life and make a list - in writing.
Let's take a look at some of the pros: - you will be rid of the day to aggravation and abuse - that is, if there is any physical/ mental abuse - be free to make your own decisions, be they financial or emotional - bye, bye, compromises - no more feeling guilty about what you did or did not do or say - feel at peace with yourself Now, this is all well and good, but life is about harsh realities, where it's not so easy to lead the simple and peaceful life craved by one and all.
Especially, when it comes to avoiding divorce, you can see all your dreams of being free and happy going down the drain.
But this is not necessarily true, even though you might not achieve all the above listed pros, if you avoid divorce, you can still attain some or all of the pros to varying degrees.
But first, let's look at some of the cons: - no one beside you - to love, to fight, to argue with, to have differences of opinion with and to make up with - the loneliness is the worst part - no one to take out the garbage and drop the kids to school - even if only occasionally - no one to help out if you are ill or having a bad time - your problem, nobody else's - no one to share financial responsibilities with - all on your own there too After evaluating the pros and cons, if you still think that not avoiding divorce is in your best interest then so be it.
But if you think, there might be even one saving grace in your marriage then you should give it another thought.
True, you may not get everything you want, but this is when you should remind yourself that marriage is all about making compromises for the privilege of sharing your life with someone.
Nothing worthwhile comes without effort and sacrifices, but if you have the will to keep your marriage intact, then you will figure out a way to work-around the issues you have with each-other.
Just deal with it practically, putting aside all the romantic fluff.
Your marriage is a partnership, and just like any other partnership both partners must be clear about what they are getting out of it, and what they have to put into it, to make it a success.
Ultimately, there is really just one thing you really need for avoiding divorce - the will to do so!
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