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Holy $#!+!! I can't believe that I was driving around in a $139,070 SUV. It's a good thing I didn't get a copy of the window sticker for the 2009 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S until after I returned the vehicle. Otherwise, I might have been paralyzed with fear every time I got behind the wheel. Could this German super-SUV really be worth five times as much as a Honda CR-V? With a base price of $124,000 ($139,070 as tested), the 2009 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S comes with a 4 year/50,000 mile warranty and EPA estimates from 12 mpg city/19 mpg.


Let's drive.

First Glance

Larger Exterior Photos: FrontRear

There was plenty of uproar among Porsche-philes when the Cayenne debuted in the United States as a 2003 model. Isn't an SUV the antithesis of a sports car? Porsche shrugged off the criticism, confident that they had built the sports car of SUVs. Cayenne has slowly evolved with mechanical tweaks and upgrades, and a facelift for 2008. Currently, the Cayenne lineup consists of the normally-aspirated six-cylinder base model, the eight-cylinder "S," "GTS" and "Turbo," and the top-of-the-line "Turbo S" that I got to drive. Cayenne is the best-selling model in the Porsche lineup. Even if the purists smirk, enough people wanted a sports car in SUV clothing to justify its existence.

Cayenne presents a fine figure, taking the Porsche styling cues to heart. To my eye, the SUV looks like a grown-up 911. The Turbo S takes the Cayenne to another level. The engine compartment is contained by a hood with a baby bump, hinting at the many horses about to be birthed.

Big nostrils flare in the front fascia to inhale the air that the turbos will need to generate their thrust. Body-colored fender flares extend the wheel wells very slightly, but noticeably. Out back, two pairs of beer can-sized exhaust tips threaten to belch fire from beneath each corner of the bumper. My test SUV wore a slick coat of Lava Grey Metallic paint, an exclusive tint for the Turbo S only. There's not a sloppy corner, edge or surface on the exterior of the Cayenne Turbo S. I guess this is what a hundred and forty grand worth of SUV looks like.

In the Driver's Seat

Larger Interior Photo

Sliding into the Turbo S's cabin, at least I got to know what a hundred and forty grand worth of SUV feels like. Real carbon fiber trim, brushed aluminum, real wood and leather, fitted together with precision that would make Sam Maloof proud. I was especially impressed with the center stack. Doors and covers that would be made of plastic in an ordinary SUV are cast from aluminum in the Cayenne, which means that everything you touch feels solid and built to last. Navigation, Bose surround sound, cruise control and a multi-function trip computer are all standard equipment -- as they should be at this price point.

The black leather with steel grey inserts on the seats would be welcome on a designer couch, and the support and adjustability would be right at home in many a two-seat roadster. 12-way power adjustment is standard for both front seats, as is power tilt and telescopic adjustment on the steering wheel. I was able to immediately settle in to the Turbo S's driver's seat, ready for a spirited drive.

The cool thing about Cayenne is that with all that Porsche design up front, you've still got a second row for genuine full-size adult humans to ride in comfort and luxury, and storage behind that second row for 19.1 cubic feet of limburger cheese. Fold down the second row, and the cargo compartment can swallow 63 cubic feet of schnitzel. That's a lot of schnitzel.

On the Road

Numbers don't tell the whole story, but they can certainly illuminate. So, here are some numbers for you to bask in: 4.8 liters of turbocharged V8 engine. 550 hp @ 6,000 rpm. 553 lb-ft of torque @ 2,250 -- 4,500 rpm. A 10.5:1 compression ratio. 5,192 curb weight. 174 mph top speed. 4.7 seconds from 0-60 mph. Whew. Take a knee, buddy. Breathe slowly and evenly. Okay. Now, read on.

All those numbers add up to serious, dangerous power and rocket ship momentum. Amazingly, when Turbo S is in the "Normal" setting, and the suspension is set to "Comfort," the ride is sedate and luxurious. Select "Sport" and throttle response becomes quicker, transmission shift points alter and the whole character of the SUV changes from pussycat to tiger in an instant. The "Sport" button completely transforms the Turbo S from family hauler to butt kicker. Access to all those ponies and all that torque is addictive, and should not be taken lightly.

Luckily, my test vehicle was equipped with Porsche Ceramic Composite Brakes (an $8,840 option), race-derived brake discs with six-piston calipers that are designed to withstand extreme braking situations while still delivering consistent, fade-free braking. With all that weight and power at work, the PCCB seems like a good investment.

Each Cayenne is equipped with all-wheel drive. I have seen Cayenne perform on off-road courses, and with 10.67" of ground clearance available, the performance is impressive. Needless to say, I kept all four of the $139,070 SUV's wheels firmly on pavement during my week of driving.

Journey's End

I'm not going to get into a debate about whether or not any SUV is really worth the price of an average three-bedroom home in Wichita, Kansas. If you've got the dough, spend it any way that you see fit. I'm not going to moralize about how you spend your money, any more than I'm going to moralize about whether or not we should all be riding bicycles and taking public transportation rather than driving in the first place. Let your conscience and your bankbook be your guide.

I will measure the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S against other luxury SUVs, however. In this rarified air, the best competition is the Mercedes-Benz ML 63 AMG, another seriously fast, 500+ hp SUV. You might also consider the BMW X5 M, the Infiniti FX 50 and the Land Rover Range Rover Supercharged. None will come close to providing the visceral thrill of a Cayenne Turbo S in "Sport" mode, rocketing down the road as the scenery blurs in your peripheral vision.

To all the naysayers who said that an SUV is the antithesis of a sports car, I say, baloney. The Turbo S delivers the kind of confidence-inspiring, awesome performance that I expect from a sports car. Except that it delivers that performance in a package that I could live with every single day. And when your sports car breaks down, we'll be able to toss it on a trailer and tow it with my Cayenne Turbo S.



Disclosure: Review samples were provided by the manufacturer. For more information, please see our Ethics Policy.