Why Husbands Cheat and how to Win him Back
If your husband has cheated the one question echoing through your mind is this: why? You want to know why he cheated. Why you weren't enough. You need to know why she was able to give him something you weren't able to give him. You want to know why he needed something more than you had to give. It all comes down to a million whys.
What you should be asking during the critical hours after you first discover his infidelity is: What? What do you need to do to save your marriage?
No matter how hurt, angry, or betrayed you feel at the moment it's a fairly safe bet that you aren't ready to just give up and walk away from the lives you've worked hard to build together. It's also a fairly safe bet that he's willing to work to save the marriage too even if he's offering to leave.
Depending on how you discovered his affair it might be a good idea to discuss the events leading up to the affair. You don't need all the sordid details. In fact, the fewer details you have the better it usually is (no matter how much you think you need to know them all). You do need to know what it was that she offered that you didn't.
You might be surprised to learn that in most instances it isn't her age or her looks that are the prime culprits for men who have affairs no matter what Hollywood would have you believe. Most men cheat because the other woman accepts and admires them for who they are. She doesn't want to change them. She doesn't ask them to do things for her. She simply accepts and appreciates him for who and what he is.
Women need appreciation from men. Men need admiration from women in both a physical and emotional manner. Admiration is important to men. It makes them feel virile and alive.
After a while you might have stopped dressing to get his attention or making the first move towards more intimate moments. You might have even started making demands for his time and even nagging him. Men hate these things because it feels like you are telling them they aren't good enough for you. That is the last thing he wants to feel.
So, what can you do to turn the tides and put that spark back in his eyes for you? Start by dressing to get his attention. You know what he likes. Give it to him. Let him see you at your most attractive.
Move on to telling him how much you really do admire him. Tell him about all the little and not so little things he does for you and how much they mean. Let him know that you regret not telling him all these things sooner in the relationship.
Finally, when he's really warming up to you and things are going well between the two of you again show him your admiration in a more personal way. For men, physical intimacy is an expression of love. You're going to reach a point in time where you're going to have to express your love in a very physical way if you want to make it work and keep him around this time.
What you should be asking during the critical hours after you first discover his infidelity is: What? What do you need to do to save your marriage?
No matter how hurt, angry, or betrayed you feel at the moment it's a fairly safe bet that you aren't ready to just give up and walk away from the lives you've worked hard to build together. It's also a fairly safe bet that he's willing to work to save the marriage too even if he's offering to leave.
Depending on how you discovered his affair it might be a good idea to discuss the events leading up to the affair. You don't need all the sordid details. In fact, the fewer details you have the better it usually is (no matter how much you think you need to know them all). You do need to know what it was that she offered that you didn't.
You might be surprised to learn that in most instances it isn't her age or her looks that are the prime culprits for men who have affairs no matter what Hollywood would have you believe. Most men cheat because the other woman accepts and admires them for who they are. She doesn't want to change them. She doesn't ask them to do things for her. She simply accepts and appreciates him for who and what he is.
Women need appreciation from men. Men need admiration from women in both a physical and emotional manner. Admiration is important to men. It makes them feel virile and alive.
After a while you might have stopped dressing to get his attention or making the first move towards more intimate moments. You might have even started making demands for his time and even nagging him. Men hate these things because it feels like you are telling them they aren't good enough for you. That is the last thing he wants to feel.
So, what can you do to turn the tides and put that spark back in his eyes for you? Start by dressing to get his attention. You know what he likes. Give it to him. Let him see you at your most attractive.
Move on to telling him how much you really do admire him. Tell him about all the little and not so little things he does for you and how much they mean. Let him know that you regret not telling him all these things sooner in the relationship.
Finally, when he's really warming up to you and things are going well between the two of you again show him your admiration in a more personal way. For men, physical intimacy is an expression of love. You're going to reach a point in time where you're going to have to express your love in a very physical way if you want to make it work and keep him around this time.
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