Have you ever left a candy store disappointed that there wasn't any milk for sale there? Have you ever left a restaurant disappointed that there was no laundry detergent for sale? Have you ever left a church service disappointed that there were no new tires available for sale there? The answer to all of these questions is NO! Of course not! Now consider why that is.
Let's break it down.
When people go to a candy store, what are they looking for...
candy! You wouldn't leave a candy store disappointed there was no milk there.
And why is that? Because you wouldn't be looking for milk in a candy store in the first place.
Why wouldn't you be looking for milk in a candy store? Because candy stores sell what - candy.
Not milk, not bread, just candy! Now a candy store may have a few other related things for sale as well like maybe souvenirs near the cash register but milk, probably not.
So because of the name of the store, because of what you know about candy stores, you would be expecting to see candy.
Nothing else, just candy.
Lots and lots of candy! No milk, no bread, no laundry detergent, no new tires, just candy.
As a result, when you leave the candy store with a bag of candy and nothing else, you're fine.
You are happy.
The only thing you were expecting to receive was candy and so when you left with only candy, you were just fine.
But imagine a man going into a candy store expecting to be able to buy not only candy but also milk too.
There he is, wandering around the store looking around for milk.
It's got to be around here somewhere he says.
He asks the cashier where is the milk and she tells him, "Sorry sir, we don't sell milk here.
" "Oh no! No milk, what I am going to do?" he says.
With a sad look on his face, he leaves the candy store, hoping to have acquired some milk, but lo and behold there was none and now he is disappointed.
Is it possible that we, like the man in this illustration, are expecting things from situations and people that will only leave us feeling disappointed? Could it be that we are expecting things that we should not be expecting, like milk from a candy store? Could it be that the source of our own unhappiness and frustration is not the situations and people that are not giving us what we want but that we do not have the proper expectations and because we don't, we are left feeling disappointed and frustrated? Someone once told me, you can't get water out of a dry well.
How true that is.
You can't get water out of dry well.
For example, should we expect happiness from someone who just lost their job and is going to lose their house? Should we expect someone who just lost a loved one to act like someone who just got married? Should we expect someone who has is hurting and in pain to be the fun, loving, and inspiring person that everybody likes to be around? We need to remember, especially in these times of crisis that people are human beings and that when a human being suffers; it is normal that they will not be as fun and loving as they usually are.
We need to be patient, understanding, forgiving, gentle and sensitive to their situation.
If we choose to have more realistic expectations, we will be less disappointed and frustrated.
As a result, we will experience less emotional pain ourselves and we will have more to offer the world and more able to help others in need.
It is much easier to change your expectations than to change a human being.
I have learned the hard way not to be so demanding in my expectations of people.
Then when I get a lot from someone, I am grateful because I got more than I was even expecting.