Anyone who has been married for longer than about 6 months realizes that the person they married is NOT the person they sleep with now.
When marriage does not go as expected we have a tendency to look at our spouse and blame them for the problems.
While some of this may be accurate, most of our pain is self-inflicted and we don't even realize it.
The Marriage Triangle is a simple, visual picture of a very complex and important relationship.
While most Christians get married in church and commit to allowing God to run their marriage, very few actually understand what that means.
And even committed Christians quickly get bogged down and soon two spouses can barely stand to be in each others' presence.
What was supposed to be a blessing is not much more than a curse and we spend a lot of time "putting on " our game face so nobody will suspect we are not deleriously happy.
Just think, the last time you did something for your spouse just to show them you love them, how was that deed or gift received? I am guessing that in far too many cases, despite a pure motive and a loving heart, the other spouse mis-interpreted it as an improper motive or an attempt to control or manipulate..
..
and they took offense and their heart was wounded.
In return, you took offense and your heart was wounded as well..
..
all over trying to do a good deed!!! How do I know about this? I have experienced this way too often.
What is the answer? Simply put, it is to recognize what the Marriage Triangle is and who is involved and then truly begin to learn how to allow God to be the head of the Marriage.
We must recognize our need to solve the hurts and wounds in our own heart BEFORE we are even concerned with the other spouse's hurts and wounds.
And more importantly than that, we must truly learn how to allow God to heal our hearts until we are ready to bless the other person and no longer blame them for our hurts.