As busy adults we rarely take the time to observe our children at play.
Often we view their play-time as an opportunity to sit back and take a much needed break, content that our child is amusing themselves.
Or we grab the chance to overlook the child in favor of our own concerns.
As responsible adults we feel we just don't have time for the silliness of play.
But play is child's work and very serious work indeed.
Along with the necessary development of basic fine and gross motor skills, play develops self-awareness, social skills and problem-solving abilities, serving as an important tool for intellectual and emotional growth.
When we fail to observe children at play, we miss a vital opportunity to gain an accurate sense of every aspect of their development.
By observing our child at play we get a wonderful glimpse into their inner world.
We discover what issues they are struggling with and what gives them joy.
We also gain a useful awareness of their emerging world view and their relationships with others.
And, armed with that insight, we can offer support and encouragement where it's most needed.
In general, there are three messages you can expect to find in play: Message One: What Experiences Has The Child Had? When granted ample opportunity to play, a child will tend to re-enact their experiences.
They will re-play them over and over again, creating little scenarios to test their understanding of the experiences.
This repetition, and the strategies they rehearse along the way, serves to process important skills deeply into their subconscious.
By observing these seemingly cute and insignificant scenarios we can get a sense of what kind of impact recent events have made on the child, be they positive or negative.
We also get a sense of whether the child truly understands the sequences and consequences of regular daily occurrences and new experiences.
Message Two: What Is The Child's Self-Image? Self-esteem is vital for the development of healthy egos and effective social skills.
By watching how children represent themselves during play, we get a pretty reliable glimpse into their personal mirror.
Also, by watching how effectively children asserts their wishes and share their ideas, we get a good sense of how they view themselves in comparison with their peers.
Do they step up to take leadership with confidence? Do they share their knowledge and abilities with their peers? Do they frequently remain on the sidelines, or perhaps defer to others an inordinate amount of the time? Message Three: What Are The Child's Needs? When allowed the freedom to play children tend to gravitate towards play that reflects their needs and wants, not just their interests.
They typically cast themselves in roles that help meet their needs, often acting out scenarios where those needs are sure to be met.
These are not difficult to read during play, once the observing adult begins paying close attention.
So How Do We Use This Information? These three messages allow us to gather very important information, but as adults we must take care not to over-react to what we see.
Often adults mistakenly perceive a bigger issue in something the child is working through.
We feel compelled to take action when often all that is required is that we give the child time to work through things in their own time.
It's advisable to be aware of consistent themes and re-occurring little dramas during play.
However, as long as the child appears to work through things and move on, the attentive adult need do little more than just continue to observe their progress.
In general it's advantageous to allow a child as much freedom in play as possible within the limits of safety.
Always encourage self-respect as well as respect for others and property while allowing them to work through their thoughts and dilemmas.
A wise parent will do their best to trust in the natural process of play.
After all, problem-solving is a vital skill generally acquired very effectively through play.
If you find something in your child's play to be troubling, discuss it in a gentle manner at a later time and always be prepared to allow your child to share.
By doing so you can use your observations as guides in how best to meet your child's specific needs.
Again, unless there is a potential for harm, be it mental or physical, it's best to try not to force a child into changing their play.
Remember, in most cases when play is a safe place to work through the challenging moments of childhood you'll have a healthier, happier child.
As an adult your observations can facilitate that magical journey.